TA-student flirting?

[lawless]

Another student fixated on TA/prof. question. Well the term just ended, so he technically won't be my TA anymore and I don't really know what to do.. Towards the end of the semester we had a final essay due. I took the assignment really seriously & he basically acted as my thesis advisor, helping me with the research process. He knew I really wanted an A on this thing. So we essay conferenced, he gave me his number, and in a very short time we became pretty close..I would call him at like 1:00 a.m. and he'd help me with anything..

 

Anyway, he gave me a week extension on the project because he knew I needed the time, although that wasn't technically allowed. So we arranged to meet off campus at a coffee shop near his apartment for me to hand it in since I couldn't at school. We chatted for a bit after I handed it in..we teased each other, laughed a lot, locked eyes several times, and he held my gaze for a lot longer than he should have, perhaps causing me to blush. But I felt we were like equals throughout so there wasn't really a problem; I teased him back just as much. =)

 

He also never mentioned having a gf so it's technically alright. He mentioned going home over the holidays to visit 'friends & family' but that's all..I dunno. He said that he hopes to see me again next semester, perhaps if I have any questions about professors he can tell me about them when choosing courses, and when I asked him about the new TA I'll be having next semester he said that he's very nice, although too theoretical for his tastes..but I'll probably like him. And if I don't that's ok, because I can just miss him more. (which is probably true)

 

So I don't know. He seems like a very outgoing friendly person in general, but he's a lot more open with me than other students..I don't know if he just wants to be friends or more though. Also, I'd guess he's around 28 yrs old & I'm 20..don't know if that makes a difference or not..

[acrossthenighte]

gee i dunno most tas ive come accross are a-holes, the one guy in my intro to communication class is a real pos... (but thats beside the point) he could be flirting w. u just to feed his ego, i wouldnt take it too seriously as he prolly doesnt take you to seriously, if you really like him id say go for it, but you could end up like mena suvari in Loser

[lawless]

lol..I guess I've just been lucky; I've never had any a-hole TAs. =) And I've never seen that movie although I get your message. One possibility is that he's just feeding his ego which I also considered..I wouldn't directly 'go for it' either at this point, but I guess we could just stay friends. hmm..yeah, he might have been flirting with me, but he was probably just doing it for fun..

[maasikus]

Hi there

 

Maybe he likes you. The fact that he bent the rules to help you is a clue that he is probably interested in u...i m not sure if what he did is correct...but thats a totally different topic...since he did not do anything to take advantage of you after helping u...he probably is a good guy...If u feel like askin him out, do so...

 

Just my 2 cents...

 

maasikus

[lawless]

No, he didn't bend the rules because he was interested in me, it was because I was really distressed and needed the extra time. At this point I couldn't ask him out though, it would just be too weird. I might visit him again, perhaps to say thanks for the essay help or something once I get it back, but I don't know if it will go beyond that. I guess I'll just see how it goes from there..it's hard to tell at this point if he's actually attracted to me or not. But looking back, I think it's more likely that he just views me as a friend/student, which is fine as well. My intuition is that he'd probably want to date a grad student..I mean that makes more sense.

[Mun]

Hi,

Thanks for the pm.

 

Does he have your number? If he does... I think that if he is interested he will most likely call you and make small talk. At that point you can very casually say something like " it would be nice to have a coffe now without all the assignments in the way" see if he picks up on that.. if he doesn't then he is either a fool or not interested ( no offense).

 

If he does not call then I think you might feel awkward calling just like that. I would. Plus you aren't sure he has a girlfriend.

 

If you really want to do something. Then I suggest you just call him to thank him for his help and let him know how you did in the class. Keep it brief. Again, if he is interested he won't miss the opportunity to ask you out.

 

Good luck

[lawless]

Thanks Muneca. I think he still sees me too much as a student though to do that, and I still see him too much as a TA. Something more gradual would be better, if anything. I don't know..he ended the conversation really quickly because he had to leave, saying something like 'so I'll see you next semester then?' so maybe he was just saying perhaps we'll see each other on campus or something by chance..because I don't have any more classes with him, and as far as I know he doesn't have an office or office hours.

 

And I was planning to e-mail him about the essay, thankign him for his help, etc. I think I would feel a bit awkward calling him about it..

 

But thanks for your advice anyways..eh, to be honest, I doubt anything will happen, lol.