Attraction & passion in LT relationship woman perspective

[johndoe13]

Hi I wanted to know which things made you lose attraction, interest and sexual need for your man after you've been with them for over 1 year & what can they do to regain/gain the momentum lost. We are in the process of buying a house. But I sometimes wonder if I'm giving the store too fast.

 

I need to feel that the attraction is the same for both of us...but unfortunately I am more into her than she is into me. I would like this to reverse or at least be balanced.

 

- For example my girlfriend is e-mailing me from work less and less despite me telling her that I thought it was important to be in contact throughout the say at least once...

- I find that she has initiated less sex on her side...she does not let her self go crazy anymore...she has said that she thinks all I want is sex...we have sex 3 times a week on average.

- She gets up earlier now instead of spending sometime cuddling before going to work

- She rarely says I love you eventhough I told her it was important to say it.

 

Anyways, I'd like to know what you need from men when you are taking them for granted or just feel totally safe (which I'm sure is boring). I think everybody needs excitement.

[Ms Darcy]

I think these are questions you should be asking your gf. From your other threads, communication is lacking in the relationship. And you seem to want to generalize about women and then apply those views to her.

[mhowe]

We are in year 4 and there is no loss of attraction or chemistry. Neither of us takes the other for granted. And the knowledge that we both are in it for the long haul makes it feel safe AND more.exciting.

 

I think you should hold off buying a place together until you have worked out the communication problems in your relationship.

[StrongBalance2]

Although you are requesting the feedback of women, I can tell you from a man's perspective (having been in your shoes), it's very unlikely that it will get better unless you calmly talk with her about it and she agrees to meet you half way -- not only verbally, but with action following the discussions.

 

It appears that you may have already done so, and you're not seeing any change in her.

 

In my situation, the 'taking for granted' only got worse with time, and she slowly detached more and more as time went on.

 

The difference between us, though, is that my relationship only started to go downhill after 4 years. The first 4 were amazing, and unlike any connection I've ever experienced. The emotional connection and support, sexual chemistry and attraction were equally matched. Only when she needed to 'find herself' did everything change. I'm now preparing for a breakup.

 

If I felt someone pulling away and taking me for granted after only a year, I'd be inclined to move on.

 

Best of luck to you.