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Differences btwn a shy guy vs somebody who isn't interested?


Hazyillusions

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In the past few years, I've met several seemingly confident guys who would get shy around me. Now that I'm putting my ex in the past, I'd like to know, what are the subtle differences btwn a guy who might be shy (despite the outgoing persona) and somebody who just isn't interested? Of course you have the confident outgoing types who straight up withdraw, are subdued and don't talk around you (or have a habit of ignoring you)...That's obvious enough, but what about those other types that don't show obvious signs?

 

How does one gauge interest, when the signs are more subtle?

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Detecting shyness is kinda easy actually, you just have to be on the look out of a few things:

 

- If the guy is kinda awkward when you approach him

- If he has troubles maintain eye contact

- If he keeps trying to compensate too much without being fully successful (he keeps trying to be funny, or to sound smart, or trying to project some fake self confidence).

 

However, him being shy doesn't necessarily means he has to be interested in you. You will just have to figure it out that all by yourself.

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Well, a shy guy who's interested in you, will still want to be around you and talk to you...even if he doesn't make a move.

 

Exactly. I'm currently seeing a guy who is very outgoing and it was apparent from the first day we met. He gets girls pretty easily but totally clammed up around me. Didn't even try to hold my hand for a month after many dates. I was worried he didn't like me because of this, but it was actually a sign that he really liked me and was nervous and fearful of rejection. There were clear signs since he enjoyed talking to me, mild flirting, hard to make eye contact, apologizing for being awkward or weird and so on. If those are the signs you are getting then enjoy it, it's cute AND be assertive and know that you may need to make the first move or try flirting back a lot harder to reassure him.

 

You can ask him too but the above are ideas if you are too shy to be direct.

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He's telling you that the only way you can "gauge interest" is to ask the guys you've met what their interest is in you.

 

Forget looking for signs and hints, just ask them.

 

This. If you want to play guessing games there's nothing wrong with it, but you can save a lot of time/energy by just communicating with the person you're interested in. If they won't play ball by letting you at least know if you'd be wasting your time or not, why bother?

 

Otherwise, this, generally VVV

 

Well, a shy guy who's interested in you, will still want to be around you and talk to you...even if he doesn't make a move.
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