Need help. Upset with the situation.

[Sista12]

Hello. I am going through a really tough time! My boyfriend whom I loved too much broke up with me right before moving abroad for educ. Now its been 2 months post break up.

 

Im going through depression. It was there before the breakup too and now gotten worse. I Cry every night before sleeping evem sometimes after waking up in the middle of the night.

 

Last time we actually communicated we fought where he told me to get lost basically. And when I showed how much it pissed me he got upset and ever since i am not talking to him. First i was strong now as days go by im simply losing it and cry too much. I want to talk to him. But all my friends say dont. After the fight he approached me thrice where i replied once only.....

 

Its been almost 2 weeks since we spoke. I feel like nobody really understands my situation. Im very upset.

 

Please someone be polite and give good answers / advice

[ynguns251]

I have been out of my relationship of two years now for two months and can honestly say it will definitely get better for you. I know it's hard right now and like many on here have told me it's a process. I wish there was a switch we could turn off that would make all the problems go away but unfortunately there is not. I have been tested as I am sure you have in this relationship and I have found that nobody should make somebody sad and depressed. people lack empathy and understanding towards others needs and wants. I really want you to know it will get better if I can do it you can too. This site is the best on the planet for help and support. you are never alone and keep this in mind. Go out with family and friends and embrace those who care for you.

 

Jim

[Sista12]

So I should not talk to him at all?

 

 

And you are so right. People can really lack empathy. And its sad that im emotionally a very weak person. And ever since he left me. I have been so lonely

[catfeeder]

So I should not talk to him at all?

 

 

And you are so right. People can really lack empathy. And its sad that im emotionally a very weak person. And ever since he left me. I have been so lonely

 

You're not weak. Grief and weakness are not the same things. Grief is the kind of suffering that feels like weakness right to the core, even while it builds strength in the sneakiest and most painful ways.

 

The strongest people in the world suffer their share of grief, and grief turns EVERYONE into a vulnerable puddle. Even when someone appears to handle their grief like a graceful stoic, make room for the deceit of appearances.

 

So that said, what is strength? Strength can never be built in a day--it's a process. Sometimes all you need to do to start building strength is to make room for the idea that strength will occur, eventually. Even when your pain argues that it will never let you be strong again.

 

It helps me to visualize strength on a meter, and despite my current weakness, I'm able to build up strength on that meter with every minute that passes without caving to a behavior that will sap my strength--and set me back.

 

The urge to speak with someone who's rejected you is natural. But play it out--what can you possibly 'say' to change someone's mind from rejection to desire?

 

The problem with attempting contact with an ex is that it usually lands us in a place that feels worse, not better. It compounds the problem by stripping us of whatever dignity we can scrape from silence.

 

If ex ever decides to contact you again, you'll have the opportunity to decide whether you have anything to gain by responding. If you opt to accept the contact, I'd be wise about it: I'd listen rather than speak unless I'm presented a fair and reasonable opening to apologize for any behavior that I actually regret--and without attempting to persuade him to reconcile our relationship.

 

That needs to come from him. Otherwise it won't be worth it. Even if you manage to convince an ex to come back, you'll never trust that it's not a pity-return and as temporary as the next mood swing or your failure to avoid breaking one of the eggshells you find yourself walking on.

 

Allow for fate to teach you whether you were a 'meant to be' couple, because if that's the case, your ex will need to grow into the man who can handle the right course of a future with you. If not, you'll have relaxed enough to put any desire to control this on the back burner while you learn and grow on your own.

 

Head high, and write more if it helps.

[Sista12]

Wow that was a very good advice. Basically the reason why im holding back from talking to him is because i dont know what he will say or do and whether it will make me feel worse then i already feel. Im scared.

 

Even though he contacted me a week ago just to tell me somwthing. I didnot reply. So i dont know what to do! Basically im waiting for some time to pass till im fully recovered.

[catfeeder]

Even though he contacted me a week ago just to tell me somwthing. I didnot reply.

 

What did he tell you?

[Sista12]

First we fought where he told me.to leave him alone and then, i was begging him not to leave me. Then he said something else which i took the wrong meaning of and i told him how pissed i was and that he has really lost me. He got upset and explained how he didnt mean it. And later msged again worried and told me not to do anything wrong with myself ( hurt myslef) i was like plesse leave me. And then he msged 2 days later wishing me and told me that his friend has something that is mine that he took from his house and that i shud take it from him. It was not necessary for him to tell me cos that friend was also my friend and has my number........ i didnt reply back.....

[catfeeder]

And then he msged 2 days later wishing me and told me that his friend has something that is mine that he took from his house and that i shud take it from him. It was not necessary for him to tell me cos that friend was also my friend and has my number........ i didnt reply back.....

 

There seems to be no need to reply to that.

 

I don't understand your first sentence, 'wishing you' what?

[Sista12]

He Wished me for a religious festival day....