Feeling the distance :-/ (wall of text)

[MrPenguin]

Sorry ahead of time for the long story…I guess I’m trying to make it a therapeutic experience for myself too >_

 

Backstory

My girlfriend and I met in our last year of college. We were classmates, then friends, and eventually, a couple by our final semester. I had dreams of going to medical school at the same college, and she, nursing school. That April, I was accepted to my dream school. I was ecstatic. However, a few days later, my girlfriend received some bad news--she didn't get any acceptances. Not so ecstatic any more

 

After thinking things through, she decides to take additional prerequisite classes for a year at the same college. In the extra year, our relationship grew more and more. It honestly felt like one of the best years of my life. Come school application season, she fills out a few applications and sends them on their merry way; fingers crossed. This time around, she applies mainly for accelerated programs, both in-state and out-of-state. She receives an acceptance for a school out East. In the meantime, we’re waiting for a response from my university. After waiting and waiting without hearing back, I suggested one morning that she give the admissions office a call to see why she had not received a response. Later that day, she calls me sobbing, saying that the admissions office had sent her an email for an interview invite, but for some reason, it had been sent to an email address she listed in the previous year for the normal nursing program—an email she no longer used. By the time she called, all the interviews had been conducted, and all the open seats—taken. She basically begged the admissions office to give her a chance, but they only said that they were sorry and that their hands were tired. It was so heartbreaking and frustrating to see. It looked like she was going to the school on East Coast.

 

Fast forward to mid-August of this year. We’d been together for about a year and a half. I flew out with her to the state where she’d be for the next 2 years to help her get situated. We landed in a regional airport, and took a 4-hour bus ride up North through seemingly endless forests. We were dropped off in a tiny town; the school sent a car to pick us up. We drove another hour north before reaching the school. We spent the next two weeks finding her a place to live and spending as much time together while we could. Before I knew it, I was again on a 5-hour road trip, this time to the airport to fly back home.

 

Currently:

We’ve been doing long-distance for 2 months and 22 days, and it’s getting hard. To change from essentially living together for a year to being 1,600 miles apart has been a jarring experience. At the beginning of the long-distance, we managed to find time to talk by phone for an hour or two every night. As time went on, we’ve been talking less and less. On some level, it’s understandable. Medical school isn’t a walk in a park, but neither is an accelerated nursing program. On the other hand, I’ve been putting more effort into managing my time to make time for her, but she hasn’t as much for me. Between her classes and her new friends, I feel like I’m being increasingly sidelined. In the past few weeks, we’ve talked 10 minutes a day, maybe 15 or 20 if I’m lucky. I’m feeling more and more like the relationship is fizzling. I’ve brought up that it’s important to stay in touch; she agrees, but then nothing changes.

I don’t know whether I’m looking for by posting here. Maybe its thoughts? Advice? Empathy? Reassurance? I’m just feeling down

 

Sorry for the wall of text..

[Lubblobba]

Long distance relationships are difficult. How long is her course and essentially how long you'll be apart? If it's a few years then do you really think you can both get through this living so far apart? Your careers seem to be important to you both and it's unfortunate she ended up being so far away but sometimes people's paths change direction, not even by choice. I could say maybe you should concentrate on uni and career, have fun with people who live nearby and possibly meet someone new who you can physically be with but I know how hard it is to give someone up, especially if things were great until being far apart. You need to have a good think about your future and what's best for you and for her and talk to her about it. Is it realistic? How much longer can you survive, waiting to be with her again?

[Ayanokōji]

Long distance relationships don't work unless theres a clearly defined goal of you 2 being with each other with definite dates and a plan. Also that neither of you find anyone else better suited in the meanwhile.

 

So long story short, unless those 2 factors are met, LDRs do not work period.