Blayzed4Life Posted December 4, 2004 Share Posted December 4, 2004 I AM SOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey everyone, I cant believe it!!! Some of you may have already read my past posts but anyways in pretty much every single one of them I talked about how s***y my life "was." I've even gone as far as trying to kill myself ;(. Boy thats not a good feeling.... I know alot of people are in that situation because I "was" one of them. But I'm here to tell you that I am sooo happy right now!!!! I had one of those eye openers. It seriously hit me out of the blue. I cant really explain it in words but I am sooo happy it happened!!! I realized that I am myself I am what I am and to accept that. We are all individuals leading our own paths. Everyone is going to have their flaws and their qualities. For many years I let other people think for me. Everytime someone would tell me I'm stupid I'd start to think to myself that maybe I was and that would lead me into depression. Anyways what I'm trying to say is I started to believe that by being a good a person was bad because I was so lonely. I thought why do good people get abused so much, we do nothing wrong yet we get abused. That is how alot of people who are suffering from depression feel. And I know it really sucks ;(. But what I finally realized was I am a good person because I care about people alot. Even when theres people picking on me I still feel bad for that person. Now what I realized is I care about people why? They make fun of me, they manipulate me. Why should I care about people like that right? Because I knew deep down inside me there were alot of people in my same state and delt with their problems in a different way then me. Also becuase I care about people I like to help people. I have helped a few people that I care about and one of them happens to be my best friend who is 4 years younger then me but has alot of his own problems. Anyways I really actually ended up helping these people that I talked to and it made me feel so good even though I still felt like s**t. I was able to help people but I couldnt help myself no matter how many people tried to help me I just couldnt take their advice. So after realizing that I feel good when I know I helped someone it made me feel really good inside. I dont know what happened but I realized that I have to be happy with myself first before I can really help the people I care about. Anyways all I can say is I am a very happy person now, I love my life I, I love the times I went through in the past, even though I hated them back then. I have been suffering from depression most my life and it started to get really bad after Grade 6, thats when It really got bad. I'm 20 years old so thats over 5 years of really bad depression. But I can now say that I am over my depression and can finally start to live my life!!! I want to thank everyone who tried to help me in the past because I can tell you this it sure made going on alot easier, and may even of saved my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will forever remember this forum and will probably continue to use it and hope that anyone who is suffering from depression reads this and hopefully something in their will also help them realize you have to love yourself first before you can love others. Put yourself first before others, otherwise you will never feel whole, there will always be a piece missing. Once again THANK YOU, I FEEL ALIVE!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment
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