sex with the ex? i dont know what i jst did...

[jenb]

okay. soooo my boyfriend and i broke up from a pretty serious relationship like 4 moths or so ago and it was a prety bad break up and he's been a jerk lately and i was actually finally gettin over tyrin to even be friends w him when he texts me a bunch of stuff about meeting up just to have sex. now first, i was pissed and upset he would even think of saying this to me. . . then i started thinking. . . he's not attched anymore, im not. . . it's just sex, right? soo i played along still not exaclty sure if i wanted to. but today we met up and.... damn it, we had sex. i dont know how i feel about it. im kinda thinking "what did i just do? i mean, i guess oviously he was only nice and all for the sex. soo, whatevr, we're both jst in it for the sex, ahha. bc we then agreed to a "friends w benefits" type thing. but i still dont know if i messed up or not. bc it was fine, we were cool and fun and even hung out after for a while. he did make a comment when i said "friends w benefits?" and he said "yes, friends... w benefits, but we dont have to JUST benefit." haha i didnt exactly knwo how to take that. did he mean we could just be friends and not just be hangin out for sex? lol.... i dont know. i just keep thinking i messed up and should have just moved on w/o him in my life whatsoever. but then again, maybe this is okay? ahh i just dont know...what do ya'll think? was it a stupid move? maybe im answering my own questions w all these feelings now, but im not sure.im jst confused w it all! sorry this was a long post but please help me out w some input! thanks![/i]

[Just A Teen]

Hey,

personaly i think it's a bad thing because it can' bring back things from your relationship... Im guessing sex isn't much to you its just pleasure or fun or something?

it's just sex, right?

yea well okay i dunno it can put you in aqward places like things you've done before and the i love you kind of stuff and then eventually wanting to maybe trying again.... Plus if it was a bad break up and what not why would you want to be around him..espically having sex with him....He must be good or something? I don't know personally i say you shouldn't...but thats just me

[Finch]

You should be cautious about becoming emotionally involved in this kind of situation. I was exactly in your place and I was treated exactly the same. I orginally went into it just for the sex and the moment of true peace and sernity, when you're just happy to be there with that person. But eventually I began to fall in love with her again. Fast forward a month or so and we aren't talking much anymore and she's moved on to another guy. So just take that into consideration when you hook up with him.

[ticklebug]

oh for cripes sake don't allow yourself to be used like that. Sex isn't something that should be devalued unless you want to be paid for it and stand out on a streetcorner.

 

Sex has many consequenses....babies & diseases to name a couple...it is NOT something to be used so casually. What if he got you pregnant? Do you think he'd be there for you if he was just in it for the "benefit"??? (and don't say that can't happen...all protection is only 99.9 effective)

 

Stop allowing yourself to be taken advantage of and find someone who is going to respect you as a woman...not treat you like an object.

[DBL]

So basically you are now just a booty call.

 

I once dated this girl, everything was fine for a couple of weeks. Then one day she told me that before me she was just friends with benefits with her x boyfriend. So I dumped her the next day. Why would I want to date somebody that have no respect for themselves. know what saying?

 

DBL

[Mun]

Hi there,

You're asking if maybe this is ok.. yet everything in your post is about how you DON'T feel ok with this setup. He was acting like a jerk and you overlooked that to have sex with him. You don't know where you stand now. You don't feel good about yourself.

 

I think maybe you should read back over what you wrote and let your feelings guide you. You were special to him once, you were his girlfriend, you should not settle for friends with benefits now.

 

I don't believe this setup ever works for a woman because we like the emotional bond as well as the sexual one... and we usually end up questioning our own worth because of (this setup) and damage our self-esteem in the process. Not good.

 

You can say no the next time and work on healing yourself and moving on in your life. As long as you keep holding on to the ex bf you are not allowing room in your life for a new man who will treat you right.

 

Love