Should I bring up this girl I am jelaous of?

[dark angel9]

I am dating someone and there is this girl in our circle of friends that if quite flirty with the guy I date. She also seemed to take an unusual interest in me.

I am pretty sure that she has a crush on him. He is borderline flirty back, never initiates it and can't say he is disrespectful to me.

 

Still, she is very attractive and sometimes her behavior is a bit over familiar...that makes me wonder if they talk privately. I know for a fact that they never dated.

 

I wonder if I should ask him what's the deal. I have done that in the past with other bfs for reassurance and it always made me feel vulnerable and insecure.

 

I am also concerned that he could easily lie and take their flirting even more underground and I would be none the wiser.

 

I dunno, we have only been dating am month but we are pretty close. This is nagging at me.

[greta96]

I wouldn't mention anything unless and until she gives me a very good reason to do so.

Otherwise you'll just appear insecure to him, and like you're threatened by the fact that she is very attractive, which usually turns men off.

 

Keep an eye on her, but act normal and friendly and "kill her with kindness" - if you're sweet to her, you'll disarm all her attempts at flirting with your b/f.

[dark angel9]

I wouldn't mention anything unless and until she gives me a very good reason to do so.

Otherwise you'll just appear insecure to him, and like you're threatened by the fact that she is very attractive, which usually turns men off.

 

Keep an eye on her, but act normal and friendly and "kill her with kindness" - if you're sweet to her, you'll disarm all her attempts at flirting with your b/f.

 

Thanks. Yes in the past when I brought things like that up, men always reassured me but started seeing me differently. I felt that asking was a turn off. Usually those situations went away by themselves i.e. girl gets a bf or moves away or something.

[Mesemene]

I agree. I wouldn't say anything unless she really crosses the line.

 

She could be one of those women that flirts as part of her communication with guys normally. Does she act like this with other guys as well?

 

If so, she could also be lacking for female friends - since most women don't react kindly to flirtatiousness with their guys, even if it's casual on the flirt-ee's side.

 

See if she wants to go shopping sometime and watch the way she talks to/interacts with salesmen and the like. If she's just a flirty gal, she may not be doing it consiously, but out of habit. And if you and she are friendly - even a lot of girls with boundary issues recognize that getting overly chummy with their friend's guy is off limits. *wink wink nudge*

[CeeLambrini]

Girls like this usually go overboard and slip up eventually once they realise they're not bothering you with their behaviour. I'm guessing at the moment she is doing this so subtly that only you can see it and your boyfriend can't. I've been in this situation, I'm actually quite close to the girl now but keep her at arms length. It got to a point where I ignored her so much that she eventually ended up drunkenly shoving me out of a photograph being taken of me, her and my boyfriend on a night out. Boyfriend saw this behaviour and finally I could bring it up with him, as well as bring it up with her as well.

Your girl here might be able to talk herself out of it now, "Flirting? Me?? No! I'm like that with everybody!" but if she really is immature enough to want to chase you away, trust me her actions will become more and more obvious.

[Me82]

I'm on the same boat. It sucks. Except she weights twice as me!

[Thorshammer]

Girls ask me all the time. Some Women flirt, and sometimes they do it more when you are actually already with someone, its like a signal in their brain goes up that says, "hes loyal and actually is the type to have a gf... oh man, I want him, he should be with me.." (i half kid with this, i have been through this).

 

When someone asks me, "whos that girl", i never see it as too soon, or being too needy. I want to reassure her that she is my one, its not hard to do, and i know that some women like to play games and ruin things, it has happened to me that women whisper to me, ask me questions and never acknowledge that my gf is sitting right next to me, etc.