Yasminah Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Could you please help me 'figure out' this guy? Well, we have just started dating. He likes me and he wants to spend hours with me each date. Last time I had to excuse myself because I needed to go somewhere. He didn't text or call a day after this. I took the initiative and texted him, and I told him to think of somewhere to do next time. He replied, but the other day didn't text or call again. I texted him and he replied again, and we talked. He suggested something and said I should think about it and call him. Now, I have a question: why does he keep throwing the ball into my field like this? Hell I am not the guy-he is the one, and he should assert himself more. NB: In the beginning he started calling me baby and I told him to keep things slow. Is he paying me back? Should I just stop calling him or texting and see if he cares or not? Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 why would you say you 'should think about it' if you're interested in him....? If a guy I was interested told me that after I asked him if he wanted to do something then I would assume he isn't interested. Link to comment
CeeLambrini Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 After telling him you want to take it slow he is probably letting you take the reins here as it is you who seems to be in control of how fast the relationship moves. You've already shot him down with his use of pet name for you so he is probably afraid of the same thing happening again. Wanting to take things slow pretty much translates to "please back off a bit". That is what he is doing. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 In the beginning he started calling me baby and I told him to keep things slow. For some men that is rejection. He could be wanting relationship and doesn't want to be friend. Link to comment
Mesemene Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Sounds like he's respecting your desire for him to back off, and doesn't want to press you by calling a lot or acting at all pushy. If you want more assertive action now, you're going to have to talk to him and let him know what you like. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Hmm ... you called him out on calling you "baby" so, yeah, I agree he probably feels slightly rejected. I also agree with dangletsbang .... why would you tell him you would think about it when he came up with a suggestion? You said he should be the one to make suggestions but then you aren't exactly very enthusiastic about it when he does. I don't think you are particularly making things easy for this guy and, btw, he doesn't have to be the one coming up with all the suggestions. You can have an input too. Be careful as you could be waving some red flags at this guy who may well assume you are being rather picky. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 If a woman told me she would think about it I would withdraw the offer. I won't be kept on a string with so many women in this world. That's just my perspective, but I can't imagine what you said doing anything but discouraging him. I think you are assuming he is still interested. If he's not acting interested, he's not. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 He suggested something and said I should think about it and call him. I read this that the guy told her to think about it & let him know, not the OP telling him she would think about it. Am I reading this wrong? Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 He suggested something and said I should think about it and call him. I read this that the guy told her to think about it & let him know, not the OP telling him she would think about it. Am I reading this wrong? Nope, I think I read it wrong. You are correct. It seems kind of passive. If you ask a woman out it's implied she's going to think about it. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Because he's a Katy Perry wannabe. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Nope, I think I read it wrong. You are correct. It seems kind of passive. If you ask a woman out it's implied she's going to think about it. I read it wrong too. Did you get back to him? Link to comment
Yasminah Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Hello Shelly and Sportser Thanks for your feedback guys. I meant what Shelly said: he suggested something and he told me to call him to confirm if I like it. He is acting kind of passive with me. I am a bit older than him and I am not used to 'guiding' a guy. It's the other way round! I want to feel that the man really wants to see me. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 If you think he is acting cold and as though he doesn't really want to see you then perhaps he isn't that interested after all. Link to comment
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