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Is it too soon to have sex?


collegegirl

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I am a 22 year old female, virgin. I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. I want to have sex with him but he hasn't told me he loves me. I know he cares about me a lot. If I have sex with him now, will it prevent him from ever loving me? Should I wait longer?

 

He hasn't pushed me at all and he wants me to make the decision for myself.

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Having sex won't stop someone from loving you. Having sex won't make someone love you.

 

Exactly! If you feel comfortable and you want to have sex then go for it. It's not like he has been trying to get his leg over or he wouldn't be around this long. However, do not have sex if it is only to please him. Do it because you want to and you feel ready.

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As Woody Allen once said: "Sex without love is a shallow experience. But as shallow experiences go, it's one of the best."

 

Anyway, in my experience, sex very often does lead to love, but don't count on it, and don't do it for that reason.

 

One more point: just because he doesn't *say* he loves you, doesn't mean that he doesn't. Lot of men can't talk about their feelings (we're raised that way), and saying "I love you" is an extremely risky thing for a man to do. It's almost always ended badly for me when I've done it.

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Having sex won't stop someone from loving you. Having sex won't make someone love you. The same goes for not having sex.

 

I agree with solamente - if you have to ask, you're not ready.

 

First bit, definitely, second bit I'm not so sure; I've noticed a lot of girls are conflicted because they want sex but are programmed to think that they have to hold off until it's "time to give it up". If you want to have sex with him and he wants to have sex with you, go nuts.

 

Otherwise, nyet.

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