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Asking out as friends

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Well, I thought I knew what I was doing, but obviously I wouldn't be posting this if I knew exactly. So to catch up, I got a 'friends' number of mine, a girl, and honestly I don't think she has interest in me like I do her, but that's cool, it's not a big deal to me. We talk really easily...I run into her like once a week, until lately b/c now the quarter is ending, and I wasn't sure if Id get to see her again. So I asked her for her number, said Id like to hang out with her, get to know her better, and she gave it to me.

Hmm, so that was this morning, and next friday is a concert that I wasnt planning on going to, and dont know for sure still, but should I call her like...oh say Monday...and just say Im goin with some friends and invite her to come along? I just want it to be friends, b/c I honestly think she doesnt have interest in me like that, but I do want to be good friends with her, and I dont have very many 'good' friends that are girls....just friends. I want this girl to be a good friend of mine w/o scaring her off thinking I want to date her. Does that sound okay?

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Yah that sounds kewl. But I have to be honest... she is going to think something's up at first and if she goes... and does have interest in you she'll do some flirting. The fact that you're asking her to go with a group of friends is good, b/c otherwise if you were asking her to go with you she'd deffinetley assume you're into her. But just incase she does like you don't lead her on...

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Haha...thanks for the input drizown, but I only wish it was the way you thought hehe. Sorry for any confusion, but you have it backwards I think....I like her, but I don't think she likes me in that way.....so unlike all the other guys in here that tell girls that are friends to them that they like them.....im not stupid, b/c I know what will happen. She will avoid me...b/c not only have I seen it, I've read it in all these posts heh....I just want to be good friends with her and not scare her off like all these other guys do.

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Yah I understood you but I get more of what you're saying now. OK if you wanna be good friends with a chick you gotta get to know her. I personally won't become GOOD friends with a guy unless i a)trust him and b) I'm comfortable with him. For example my bestfriend grant. I tell him everything and likewise. He's almost closer than my bestgirlfriend. We weren't always like that. We were friends but it wasn't until this year we became close. We talk everynight on msn, hang together and we look out for eachother. My best advice is get her msn/aol/yahoo wutever and talk to her there first because starting out with the phone can be awkward, and filled with awkward silences ESPECIALLY for her. So talk to her on msn get to know her share details about yourself. The more you share the more likely she is to return the favour, and yes asking her to the concert is a good idea.

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Well, thanks drizown....but I still have one more question now. Ummm...See, we both took Psychology, and I found out on Friday that we were going to be taking the final in the same room....and that is on Tuesday. So, should I just forget calling her, and wait until Tuesday nite to ask her?


Thanks for all the info tho, wish other people would put some more, but her and I are pretty good friends, not great, but for some reason it's really easy for me to talk to her, maybe I've just convinced myself that I like her, I dunno. Every time we have talked, its been for like 45 mins or more....and its rarely ever had any silences because she asks questions too, its not always just me trying to keep the conversation going. I do...welll did have a bad habit of running into her when she was studying tho, but like wednesday, she just stopped studying and sat and talked with me for about an hour. One problem, I heard that like aim s/n's were like a bad idea sometimes, b/c you can talk too much, and then you don't get to see the person....Well, I'll wait and see what happens

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Ouch, umm Drizown....I went to my final, and didn't run into her. I had kinda of a good and bad day...so this could just be my own perception. I called her after the exam...it was probably 9:30 pm, but I called her to see how she had done on the exam, and to ask her about the concert. Well, she's not able to go to the concert, cuz she's goin to visit her brother at another college, and she told me this before I asked, b/c I was stupid and still asked after she told me that she was leaving thursday. I didn't want to talk long....but I just got this bad feeling she didn't want to talk to me....what am I doing wrong, she seemed to like make up an excuse to hang up. She said she had to 'talk to her sister' about something....

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Yeah that does sound pretty harsh, and the excuse was lame if i do say so myself. Trust me in this kinda thing you arn't doing ne thing wrong, she must just have the wrong impression of you, so i suggest making you intentions clear. Say look I think you're great and just wanna be good friends with you that's all. I can easily talk to you and I just wanna be friends nothin more, and then follow with somethin like so if you're not doin ne thing ____________insert time here, then maybe we could catch a movie or somethin?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey...um, This break has gone by pretty fast, but I only called her one more time, but she didn't pick up. It was just a saturday about like 4 and I was trying to find something to do. Never got a call back or anything...what's new. So, I haven't called her since, instead I found this website(which she had told me about in the first place), and she has her picture and some profile on it, and so I joined it too, but I don't have a picture. So I sent her a message thru it, just saying 'hey, and have a great break'...not long at all. This is truly the part that shocked me the most...eh, she replied with about the same, then added 'how do you know me?'..... I mean, I don't think I'd ever told her my last name...but from my profile, she still didn't know who I was....this is so screwed up. I thought it was kinda sad, so I didn't tell her, just told her to call me if she wanted to find out....I can't believe some girl that I seemed to get along with so well, talked easily, and smiled and everything when ever I was talking with her.....could just forget. I'm done....I've gotta find some other girl and just leave her alone or something ugh...

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Oooh I'm sorry hun.. I can totally relate to how ur feeling now. Sometimes when we have a crush on someone we're kinda blinded by our liking of them. We see them through rose-coloured glasses, and we see them the way our ideal person is..unfortunately they rarely match up to that.. and cos we've been thinking so much about them, we just kinda on some level think they should be doing the same about us.


On the other hand, she might not have recognised the info in ur profile as being you.. either way she has been rude, by not returning calls, etc. I say give it up, be nice when u see her but don't give her any more chances, if she cares she'll initiate something, if not then it's her loss. No more calls/emails etc! I know it's hard but you're better off for it!


Good luck and take care!


ps. how did u find psych? I'm a psych major!

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I'm not sure if its exactly a crush....but I like her. I don't know really, I wouldn't HAVE TO go out with her....I just like talking to her, easier to tell her things just between friends..and I thought she may have been the same. I'm not blinded by the fact that I like her, I was pretty sure I screwed it up, so that's why I just wanted to not scare her off and just leave it as friends.


But...I'll take your advice...it sounds reasonable. I'm okay with not contacting her...classes start again next monday(woo hoo), and I'll probably see her. I just won't walk with her to classes or anything now(even tho I did only do it like once a week...every other week or so)....'n no more emails/calls unless she wants....whether its works or not...I'm almost to the point I don't care anymore...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Haha...yea....that all didn't work. I know no one responded, and I don't really know why I'm keeping this post in the run, but yea......now, not only am I not talking to her, she's not talking to me.... I've seen her like 10 to 20 time within the past 2 weeks(figures now I see her a lot)....but we haven't even made eye contact. I don't know what the hell I do to deserve any of this. I don't get it....losing friends....heh....another great way to start out the new year....

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Sorry man but to be honest as I stated on another thread just a few min ago men/women can't be friends. Just my personal belief. Most girls would take your numerous phone calls etc. as attempts to call to setup up a date not just hang out as friends.


I say just let her go and don't worry about. If you really want a female friend mine as well concentrate on trying to find another girl to actually be your girlfriend. See that's why they call it girl/boy friends b/c normally your mate is supposed to be your best friend through life (or so they say).

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