Poca Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 we broke up in April this year -- I went through hell and back trying to get over the breakup, because I saw him at work every day, we still talked, and since about Aug, we started to talk every day and hang out regularly - we both play and love poker, so that kinda kept us together. While all along I was really hard to get over my feelings for him, or at least to be able to move on. I was doing pretty well, even though in the back of my head I felt we belong together. Eventually we ended up sleeping together once or twice, but that just made it worse, because we still didn't have a relationship and I still saw him at work where he are friends with a lot of people - and especially the one women that works with him. I suspect, but am not sure, that he has feelings for her, although she's married and I know he hangs out with her and her husband. But still, they are in constant contact, either talking or on MSN (I see it cause I have to walk past both their desks every day) and go to lunch together 3 - 4 times a week. Anyway - I told him I need to move on and that there will be no sleeping together if we want to be friends. Much to my surprise that upset him a lot, and well - we ended up getting back together. He told me that he still loves me and suddenly life looked pretty good. That was about two weeks ago. Last weekend we had an incident - I got jealous at a poker game where he was (in my mind) flirting too much with one of the women there -- but -- he IS a big flirt and he's always talking to women. I got so mad that I walked back to my apt, didn't tell him where I was going, and turned my phone off. When I woke up the next morning, I felt absolutely terrible. I had too much too drink the previous night and don't think I would have acted that way if that wasn't the case. I called him to apologise and to come pick me up - my car was at his place - he came and surprisingly, wasn't mad. I apologised over and over again, he was a little upset, he was up all night worrying about where I am. After that I noticed that he got a little distant, not much, but I know him well enough to know that it was bothering him. In the mean time, we haven't really told people at work we are back together, kinda planned to break it to them at the holiday party this weekend, and he still spend a lot of time with his married friend at work. Monday night he called be about nine, I asked if he was working until then, and he said no, he went to see a movie. I said oh, with who. And he casually said 'Jessica' - that's the married friend. I felt as if somebody hit my in the stomach. I was devastated - I don't know if I'm just too jealous and if I was wrong in feeling that way, but I expected for him to tell me if he was going to the movies with her. I couldn't talk normally on the phone with him, and told him I have to go, I tried not to make a big deal of it and just needed a couple of minutes to sort out what I'm feeling, and I told him I don't want to talk to him right that minute. Got online a couple of minutes later and talked to him, and he was MAD. Mad at me for being upset, mad at me for basically hanging up on him, so I called him, trying to explain, but he just got more upset. Next morning at work(that was yesterday), I asked him if he was still mad, he said yes. I told him I'm not mad and I don't want him to be, so, should I just wait it out until he's ready to talk to me. He said yes and I said ok. Went to a poker game last night, he arrived after we started playing, didn't say hi or anything, I was out early and basically ran out of the place to go home. Called him to ask him if he want to come over when he's done, and he just said NO. So last night was one of the worst nights of my life. I went through all the stuff I worked so hard to get over. This morning I didn't go to work, sent him an IM, asked why he doesn't want to talk to me, why is it such a big deal, and basically he told me that he is 're-evaluating' our relationship, and that there's nothing I can do. I know there is nothing I can do at this point, but I'm scared. Scared to go through all the heartache again, scared not to have him in my life, but also scared that we are going to have all this crap over and over again, if we stay together. I cannot believe this is happening to me again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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