Am I strange?

[Recovering_Lover]

The more and more I read on the forums, I find myself strange.

 

Am I the only one who wants to be a friend with an ex? (She broke up with me, I didn't break up with her..just to clear things...=))

 

I know we had our diferences and all, but the main reason we decided to hook up is becoz we got along so well as friends.

 

I know I like my ex. I would never stop liking her unless she changes like my other ex's then I would like her for what she was .

 

But , I truly can accept my ex's to be my friends.

 

Why is it that everyone is saying..that when I say I want to be a friend, I am just kidding myself and trying to fool myself? No one can b friends...etc...etc...

 

I agree with that when she just broke up with me...but its being 2 months now and after my last conversation with her, when I said everything I wanted to say, I no longer think about her like I used too, or feel the pain etc.. I don't have the urge to call her...etc..etc..the classic symptoms

 

All I feel is, its a pity...we could have been great friends....we were like buddies...when we were friends.....

 

Am I strange here?

 

Just a rant....any opinions people?

[marijo2480]

I would like to think that I could be friends with my ex but I doubt that can happen (with me anyway). It would be too hard to go from one level, an extremely close level, to a level where you have nothing bonding you close again! I guess it just depends on how serious you were with the person. I personally have friends that are just that, "friends!" The moment one crosses that boundary (a guy of course) he's gone and our friendship is over.

 

Maybe I'm just tough in that respect!

[sisterlynch]

You are not strange, you are strong. You have support and you can voice your own opinions.

 

The people who get caught in the trouble with an ex syndrome dont have a lot of resolution practice and don't know where to turn for advice before they come here asking for help.

 

The people who come here normally have a life time of not working on problem situations, so they see this as an easy way to handle a tough situation, so they withdraw--which is what no contact really is--it is a withdrawel from the relationship, it isn't breaking up and working on the issues, it is "I am outa here! Good bye"

 

Which leaves both parties unhappy and unfulfilled.

[Beec]

I don't think it is or has to be strange.

 

However, most of the time it seems one person in such a situation harbors feelings or hopes fo getting back together. If you don't, I see nothing to deter you. If you do, then I would not be deterred either, just aware. Your feelings about getting back together may change. Maybe you want her and are not admitting it. I see nothing wrong with any of it, just don't screw it up.

[DBL]

Do you want to be with her still?

 

DBL

[rnorth]

No I think you just have a healthy perspective on your relationship with your ex. Just be careful... she may have other expectations.

 

But good for you. Most people are on this forum because they still hold a torch for someone from whom they are separated.

[DBL]

Well if you want to still get back with her, then that is not really a friendship that you are seeking, but more of an opportunity.

 

This don't make you strange though.

 

DBL

[Recovering_Lover]

Hey Everyone,

 

Well, Do I like her ..Yes.

 

Would I want to go after someone like her yes,,,for sure!. Bt not her.why?

 

Becoz, she is not ready for a relationship, and we have differences, which I can accept becoz I am very easy going guy, but she can't ...and this it would never work.

 

Evem if she wants to come back, I won't want too, unless we have worked out our diferences, other than that no.

 

If we can't work out our diferences, its fine... lets be friends....but why is that, if we can't work out our differences, we have become invisilbe to the other.

 

I just feel its such a loss, All for what? pride? fear?

[Break up Veteran]

Recovering_Lover,

 

If you are okay with the situation then I guess you are at peace with yourself. This is not strange but rather uplifting. If you are genuinely not torn over the situation then kudos to you.

 

Others may not feel they have come to terms with their situation though and still fight it.

[Recovering_Lover]

Hey Veteran,

 

I am not torn over the situtation that I want her back, why she left me etc..etc..

 

But I am just feeling , why should we lose the people we know a lot about...and the things we went thru, we could become great friends...instead we become strangers....

 

Thats what I feel...