What to say to repair a broken friendship

[lisa725]

I have been friends with a guy for a while now. He is dating another girl and she was cool with our friendship(I guess). We spent time together, including going to sporting events. Our last sporting event, we got drunk and had sex. We were fine for a week or so. The understanding has always been it will never happen again and it has seem that he was able to keep it quite from his girl. But the past few days he has acted weird. He is not as active on facebook as he usually is and Facebook is how he was talking to his girl. I am concern something happened between them and feel horrible. I want to ask what is up with him but I have no idea what to say.We do text each other but not like we used to. So things between us have gotten bad too and to be honest I would love to go back to before we had sex. I have no idea how to say any of this to him. I miss our friendship.

[savignon]

A couple of ideas:

You could text him/fb/im/email something like "how've you been?" or "how's things?" or whatever.

You could call him and act like nothing ever happened.

You could wait and see if/when he reaches out to you.

I'd imagine if he's into the other girl he might feel guilty and even though you agreed to whatever you agreed to, its still a reminder of something he did behind this girl's back and might not want to deal with it/have that reminder.

That being said, remember how you're feeling now and don't engage in sex with someone who is dating someone else....it sounds like you regret it and it wasn't worth it. An important thing to have learned about yourself.

[lisa725]

My thing is I think something bad happened between them. I feel horrible but he didn't tell me about this girl until after we had sex. I WOULD NOT HAVE HAD SEX WITH HIM IF I HAD KNOWN!

[savignon]

If something happened, then he's dealing with it. Not your problem, right? Unless he reaches out to you, I'd back off. I would guess instead that the reason he didn't tell you about this girl until after was so that he could sleep with you and then have a reason not to talk as much after that. He had you agree to a one time thing and then bailed...not a good "friend"...

[lisa725]

So update; nothing happen because he did not tell her anything. He was completely avoiding all forms of social media so she would not see that we talked. The second she left he was back to normal texting me and everything. BUT I totally ignored all forms of communication, went to a concert, and contacted a nice man on Christian mingle. I do not play that game!