I love him so much, but I can't help feeling he'd be better off without me...

[oitnb]

So if you've read my first thread I posted my parents crazy antics are pretty much sabotaging my relationship... I love my boyfriend so much but every day it's some new issue because of me & my family and it's dragging him down so much... I feel like in the long run he'd be so much more happy and stress free if I wasn't a part of his life.

 

I feel terrible for having these thoughts and we've been through so much together, and we have such a mature bond for our age but idk. I had a thought today, my parents are ALWAYS going to be p.o.s's and I'm unfortunately always going to have to deal with that, but is it fair for him to deal with it as well?

 

He's such a good guy, he's mature, responsible, a loyal friend, he doesn't just sleep around and screw girls over even when he was single, he wants a long term love. But idk if I deserve him. I know one thing, he does not deserve what he's went through since I became part of his life.

 

I feel soooo guilty. If I left him, so he could find someone better than me, I'd honestly be seriously depressed for at least a year... And I know he wouldn't handle it well either.

 

We're flat broke (0 dollars to our name) right now because my mother stole our rent money basically. I'm also worried, in the long run, he's going to resent me because of the problems that come along with dating me. And honestly? I can't blame him if he did.

 

This is going to sound so disgusting, but I know I probably wouldn't have stuck around if the shoe was in the other foot. (God I'm a b*tch...) so it must mean he really loves me, but am I good for him? Should I sacrifice my happiness so he can be happier? Help me out people...

[mhowe]

All of your questions are for him, not outsiders. There is no advice as to how to get your rent money back from mom, unless your dad will give it to you.

 

If you both are working, well -- call the landlord and see if you can get a reprieve for a month.

 

Have very limited contact with your mom.

Ask your boyfriend if he wants out.

[metrogirl]

Are you both living with your parents? How did your mother come to steal your rent?

[oitnb]

All of your questions are for him, not outsiders. There is no advice as to how to get your rent money back from mom, unless your dad will give it to you.

 

If you both are working, well -- call the landlord and see if you can get a reprieve for a month.

 

Have very limited contact with your mom.

Ask your boyfriend if he wants out.

 

I've asked him before and he always says no and he wants to be with me, but I feel like for him a few months of sadness from a breakup and then a lifetime of happiness is better than a lifetime of stress because of me. And I'm done with my mom now. Until she goes to rehab.

[mhowe]

It is his choice. He chooses to be with you. Show appreciation and gratitude....not guilt.

[oitnb]

Are you both living with your parents? How did your mother come to steal your rent?

 

A few months back my mother convinced us she had changed and guilt tripped us into letting her move in. She's kicked out now.

[oitnb]

It is his choice. He chooses to be with you. Show appreciation and gratitude....not guilt.

 

That's very true, it's just hard... He deserves so much more. I can't help but feel guilty, it's in my nature.

[mhowe]

Well then, change you "nature" ---- it is your mother that installed the guilt button. Remove it.

 

Adults make choices and live with the consequences.

[oitnb]

Well then, change you "nature" ---- it is your mother that installed the guilt button. Remove it.

 

Adults make choices and live with the consequences.

 

I wish it was that easy!

[mhowe]

It isn't easy, but it is possible and within your capabilities.

 

You either choose to change --- or choose to suffer. The choice is clear.