I desire sex, but am afraid of getting attached.

[whitwhit]

I am going through a serious internal struggle.

 

I broke up with someone I was very serious with 2 months ago and for the first time since- I feel emotionally okay enough to have sex. In fact, I REALLY want it.

Been dating online for a hot minute now and seriously considering "getting it out of my system."

 

I got to 2nd base with someone I am very attracted to last night, and would really like to step it up. But I am worried about my emotions.

 

To preface, I have not had a causal (as in 'not serious') relationship with someone for years. I do not want a long term relationship- but I do want a monogamous one. I can't handle thinking about anyone I am intimate with being with someone else. Its a turn off to have to worry about STDs and time management between me and another girl.

 

I have spoken to this person I hooked up with about doing what I just described, and he wants it too... but I feel that he doesn't have enough time on his hands to satisfy me... I am seriously wanting sex ALL the time. I want to just be able to call him over when I need sex, but he can't accommodate me most of the time I ask. He has time to see me about 1-2 a week in the evenings or weekends. I am looking to get freaky on the regular- that's just me and my level right now. I feel like a cat in heat.

 

Should I stop seeing him? It would be a shame if I had to do that, we are really compatible, and besides the sexual desire are turning out to be very good friends. Should I just be his friend and try to find a casual partner elsewhere? Should I just deal with my desires and be happy with what I have???

[Heart On]

Friends with benefits is all about being able to compartmentalize emotions and sex.You can't expect him to be at your sexual beck and call,not actually care about him,and limit his options sexually or emotionally solely to suit your needs.

 

Sounds very selfish to me.

 

You may feel like a "cat in heat" but there is always masturbation until you are emotionally available for an actual relationship or you can settle for what he has to offer you,and have multiple 'go to' men for sex.

 

And btw....if a guy declared all this,he'd be considered a "dog".

 

Being "afraid" to get attached but willing to have casual sex is an oxymoron in my book.

 

I'd be more afraid to have casual sex,than I ever would finding love and went a year with "BOB" so I didn't mess with people's heads or turn into a s l u t without the ability to connect on an emotional level and risk STDS!

 

But hey...............your call.

[thevic]

I totally agree with this. Don't get sexually involved with someone if you are not emotionally ready.

[Deciduous]

Hi whitwhit,

 

If you are feeling "emotionally robust" enough you could try going down the "casual encounters" route. There is no law saying you are required to live a celibate life unless you are in a relationship.

 

It's a personal decision and it is your business.

 

This reply was posted in another thread, by an OP male in your position. It might be of help.