Do You Think People Can Change?

[under_the_pressure]

Hey everyone, some of you might have read my post about "Finding Myself" that I posted not too long ago. This one is about people trying to change. [for the better]

 

First off, to get the point accross I need to add some things in this post that usually I don't like to talk about, but I will. I'm not asking for sympathy. And here we go...

 

I'm 14 years old, and like some haven't had the best life growing up. It's made me a stronger person and I wouldn't have asked for it to be any other way. I've made some mistakes. For example; having sex already and I've tried marijuana. *sigh* Mistakes.

 

So, my question is; Do you think that people can change? I don't want people to look at me as a piece of meat anymore, and I don't plan on doing anything sexual until I fall in love. [sorry, I'm a prude.] It's just not worth it, and I'm too young. Not only do I plan on changing that about myself, but my attitude towards everything. Life espicially. Saying "I hate" everything. My temper. It's all for the better though.

 

Tonight I was in Wal-Mart and I saw a woman that my Mom nor I like very much. And my Mom blew up saying how much she hated her, and I just kept my calm. The 'old me' would have blew up, saying how much I hated her also, blah-blah-blah. So, I have changed a little already.

 

I've been feeling great about myself too. I feel more mature. My Mom isn't even like that. I notice that she still says she 'hates' everyone. While I let her know "Hate is a very strong word, Mother" And she'll say "Oh she is such a skank"

 

Okay, enough ranting. I personally think people can change, if they are determined too. I want to do this. I feel like if I want to go anywhere in life I have to.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

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[Double J]

Yes, I do think people can change for the better. I myself changed from a shy, antisocial guy in high school to someone more extroverted in college. It's all a matter of having the right mindset and being confident in yourself. You're still very young; I'm glad that you're making choices to change for the better. Like you said, you have to be determined; you have to picture yourself being a certain way (a way you'd like to be) and make it happen gradually.

[fallslikerain]

everything can change, and i'm glad your already trying to improve yourself and be the best you can be at just 14. I applaud you.

[Cadence308]

I think that certain things about people can change like attitude and confidence, but ultimately some personality traits are encoded in our genes and we are instructed by those to act in certain ways. For example, someone with manic depression couldn't change without meds.

 

I think with a lot of work and thought people can change their behaviors, but you have to think about it first.

[RobotMasterCoop]

Yes, it possible for people to change but its not instant. It can take days, months, even years to change depending on the person and the problem. Mostly, you have to find your target result; what you want to change and find the ways to change it. Once you know what you want to change about yourself you need to go out and find the ways for you to do it. For example, if you want to be more friendly, try being polite to people and saying hi to more people rather than hiding. BAsically, you need to look out of your box. Hope that helps.

[ShySoul]

Yes people can change. It takes a level of commitment and hard work that not everyone is willing to strive for, which is why so many people don't change out of there bad habits. It also requires a fair and honest evaluation of oneself. A lot of people would rather blame other people for there faults and there mistakes because they are afraid of admitting the truth. They are afraid of facing a part of themselves that they don't like and are ashamed of. It's easier to blame others then to look inward. But once you admit your problems and dedicate yourself to changing, it can be done. It may not be quick and it may not be easy but people can do it. The strength of the human heart and spirit can achieve anything.

[Mix Maxster]

I honestly do not know how I can add anything more. So many people have already posted a good share of advice and I don't feel like I could say something different, but here it goes.

 

You have to look at it this way, your mind records experiences in your brain as a reference to recognize similar traits and instances that have occurred before. If you come into a situation and a very similar outcome is produced, your brain will always think that that outcome will happen.

 

What does this have to do with anything? This has to do with ones self holding them back. I know what that is all about, heck I'll sit here and say to myself "why not?" "WHY NOT?!?" and just say it over and over again. This is honestly a hard thing to change, that mindset that has been ingrained into your head is NOT easy to just change.

 

This is why it takes dedication and passion in it. You have to know what you want, know how to get it and be realistic about it. NEVER put yourself down in the process and don't be TOO easy on yourself either, it's not fair to be hard on yourself, but you shouldn't limit your progress by failing to keep on track.

 

To answer your question though, YES I DO think people can change. It takes a strong person to recognize fault and necessary change within themselves and OTHERS DO notice it. I am much more likely to hang around someone who DOES know when they're out of line and make STRONG steps to improve how they behave or act around people.

 

At 14 I must say you have a pretty strong head and there are not NEARLY enough people who would want to change, ESPECIALLY at such a young age. I give you a HUGE amount of credit for doing such a thing AND I also applaud you for making the step in the right direction. Honestly some people will try to shoot down your progress by saying they like you the way you are, but are they really afraid that you're going to become a jerk or someone they won't like? Or someone they can't put below them?

 

Sounds rough I know, but honestly you're not talking about becoming a ****, changing your appearance to look like a ****, or even becoming a complete *****. You're only out there to improve aspects and obtain new skills to use. Some people need help meeting women, some need help on holding conversations with others and some need help feeling better about themselves. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with them, not at all and I honestly think that if those people are just dying to change those aspects, that they'll achieve them because the desire to do so is too powerful.

 

That's my two cents and I have a strong faith that you'll be who you want to be, no one can stop you and don't let them tell you anything. Remember that in the end we are pretty much by ourselves in this world, but that people are a part of our reality. Don't worry about fitting into their world, make sure they fit into your world. I am not saying become a jerk or anything even close to that, just look out for yourself in all of this.

 

Change is always good and it's totally possible to do it, impossible is something your mind makes up.

[blowfish]

People defintely can change, and we should change.

 

Don't change for people, change for yourself though. People remind you that a lot. But when they say that "Don't change for people" but you know in your heart that your change for the better of yourself, then don't listen to them, those people don't want to see you prevail.

 

I have a feeling that a lot of people don't want to see me rise, but I'm doing it for myself. I'm changing the way I think, the way I walk, the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I eat. I'm basically putting a monkey wrench in my whole lifestyle and turning the whole thing around. i'm doing this constantly, as the world turns, i look for ways that I could improve myself. "I did do something wrong here today?" "How do I look today and what cna i do to improve upon myself." I ask myself these questions occasionally.

 

My body can grow no more, or its close to the stage of it. But I can alter my image but changing my body figure, which is what I'm trying to to at the moment. All I need is a teacher or a guide to show me how to do it successfully. I'm trying get my voice right, I hear that singing does wonders for your voice, so I'm just singing along to tracks in hopes that I can deepen my voice. I'm not saying I hate my voice, but sometimes I find it annoying and I want a more deeper sounding to it.

 

So yeah, changes happen, and should happen. People can change for the better and they should, at a consistent rate.

[Mix Maxster]

Interesting stuff blowfish. That's good that you're taking the steps to improve as not enough pepole do.

 

You're trying to free yourself, like I am, from the people who try to keep you below them so you don't get ahead. That may not sound right, but seriously nothing can stop me from becoming who I want to be and there are a lot of people out there who will try to revert you back to your old ways because they liked using you, but don't let them. I know I won't.

 

We can all change if we put our mind to it, our hearts in it and our desire to come out on top will prevail. As long as you believe it and in yourself, it can happen.

[under_the_pressure]

First off I want to thank everyone for the replies.

 

Like I said; I think people can change with strong commitment. Like most of you all said, too. I am determined too.

 

I really don't know what to say, your replies were very kind. Thanks again. I know it'll take time, but in the long run it's all worth it.

 

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[Borashi]

There are a lot of great replies and I'd like to add my own thoughts into the mix. A great person once said the only constant in life should be "change". Only if it was so easy at times. I've been trying to change a lot about myself but I like many others want instant gratification and so when I don't see results IE almost instantly, I'll grow impatient and usually quit what I was trying to change. It seems somedays I'm more motivated than others to change aspects about my life. I think everyone can change if they are motivated by __________________. Think about this for a second, one of the greatest motivating factors for change is having a kid. Once you have a kid, a burning desire is created in you to change for the better. You all of a sudden want the best for your child. You want to create the life that you never got to have when you were younger. Back to the topic, I recently have been trying to change a lot of my thought patterns, see I come from a long line of "worryers" but what I've figured out is that if I feed into that cycle of being worried about every little thing all the time, then I won't be able to take action. Also I'm trying to not let everything and everyone influence me. The perfect example of this is the recent Wisconsin Hunting Accident that happened. I'm sure everyone has heard about this as its been on the news all last week. After hearing about this being talked about on radio shows and tv, I couldn't help but notice how my mind through the power of auto suggestion almost suddenly started to focus negatively on Asians. 2 days after that hunting incident happened, I must have noticed 50 Asians within a 48 hour period. Automatically I started to judge the Asians I saw just based upon what I heard through the morning radio show I listen to and television. Its crazy how it can have such a powerful effect on you without even noticing it happening. So I'm trying to be more "conscious" of my surroundings and I'm trying to surround myself only with positive people. This way I'll remain open minded about change.

 

Still searching for my soul...

 

Theo

[Softmoonlight]

Anyone in the world can change if they want to. You are who you are only because you choose to be, so you betcha! Get out there and change yourself for the better!

 

It's never too late to start over!

[SkyFire]

Do you think that people can change?

 

 

Yes.

[under_the_pressure]

Thanks for all the replies, once again.

 

I believe so too. That people can change.

 

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