tempted to brea

[Lilliene]

Feel I want him back. Tempted to break NC. What should I do? Miss him so much n im lonely. I know people say there r so many good men out there. But where r they? Never found them n believe me I ve looked hard. I feel sad. Wonder if he feels the same also. But something in me tells me not to give up at this stage. Pl help.

[Tanzi]

Hi Lilliene

 

I gather you still haven't heard from your boyfriend?

 

Here is a line from one of your previous threads:

 

But I cannot take his degrading attitude anymore. He s always. ,always played this disappearing act. I used to get upset and convince him to return. Im too tired now to play this game again. I didn't start this not even once.

 

Try to remember how you felt BEFORE this latest disappearing act of his. This cycle has been going on far too long and will continue to go on until you break out of it. You shouldn't have to chase after someone in order to convince them to come back and your boyrfriend shouldn't keep running off like a spoiled child every time you have a disagreement. He should try to work things out with you. Everyone argues but they eventually work through their little tiffs. You've done all the chasing so far, showing him time and time again that, no matter how he treats you, you are willing to take him back. He doesn't even have the decency to break things off, leaving you unsure of where you are at. He just disappears and waits for you to start chasing. This is not a relationship.

 

Now is the time for you to stand your ground and see what he does. Standing your ground would certainly teach him that disappearing isn't going to work anymore. That being said, your boyfriend hasn't treated you with much respect throughout your relationship so, even if he were to suddenly reappear, is ALL this really what you want? You said he can't communicate and if you try, he thinks he is always right and calls you a liar. Arguments aren't always about who is right or wrong, it is generally a miscommunication or misunderstanding that can be sorted out maturely. Communication is key to any good, working relationship. It seems to me that he is very much in control of this relationship and it goes his way or no way. That also makes him very much in control of your emotions. He continuously toys with your emotions like a cat would toy with a mouse.

 

This shouldn't be good enough for you. Stay EXACTLY where you are. Stand your ground this time and let him know that you will not put up with his behaviour anymore. You have made the right choice. He can't keep acting like a baby.

[Lonewing]

Stay strong. You will have these feelings for some time, and that's ok.

[Lilliene]

A little blue thank you ever so much. I ve resisted the urge. U r ever so right. This is the time to see what he does, and yes he doesn't have the decency to break things off. I ll let him be. If his ego is too big, so is mine. If its a game, two can play at it. Thank u dear

[Lilliene]

Lonewing. This rough patch will also pass.

[Tanzi]

A little blue thank you ever so much. I ve resisted the urge. U r ever so right. This is the time to see what he does, and yes he doesn't have the decency to break things off. I ll let him be. If his ego is too big, so is mine. If its a game, two can play at it. Thank u dear

 

No worries! Glad to hear that you resisted the urge. Urges come and go and, as hard as it is, they are best resisted. As Lonewing said, stay strong.