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Should I Just Move On or What? Male Opinions??

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Ok, so I met a guy through work that I had a crush on for awhile, but I had been involved with someone else at the time. When my ex and I broke up, I got up the courage (for the first time ever) to ask him out (I have never approached a guy before). He had jokingly said earlier that we should skip out on work and go to the casino. Later that night (slightly inebriated I suppose), I told him he should give me his number so we could go. He said he had a gambling problem so I completely left it alone, I figured whatever, shot down.


The following day I was sitting with a male friend at the bar (Where we work) and he programmed his number into my phone and told me to call him to go gamble. Ok, so I was a little confused at this point. I didn't call or anything, because I have a hard time doing that.


Jump forward a few days. I was out with a friend and kept receiving very mean messages from the ex that had me crying. I got completely wasted and went out to eat at a small place near where I work. The guy I like and another friend stopped in and the crush guy was pretty much comforting me. I don't remember the exact details, but I ended up going home with him. We didnt have sex, just kissing and cuddling and stuff. He took me home the following morning. We had both been drunk so I didn't want to think too much about it. I saw him a few days later and told him I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around me, that I do like him but that is not the way I would have chosen to go about it. I told him he should call me. He never did, yet when I see him at work it seems he goes out of his way to come and talk to me. I don't know what the hell is going on. He runs hot and cold. Should I just give it up and look elsewhere? Im very attracted to him but Im not looking for a relationship. He's really smart and I enjoy his company, I thought something light might be fun??

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Hi there,

I'm not a male, but I have an opinion.


You say you enjoy his company, yet you aren't looking for a relationship. So why not just enjoy this flirtatious exchange and leave it at that? Don't hold your breath for him though, flirt with other guys too. Remember he is not the only guy out there. He might just be taking his time, or he might not be all that interested. Either way I say enjoy what you are getting right now, but keep dating other people.

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I noticed you said he the HOT COLD type, He's like myself..Is he Italian by any chance? I.D.K just a thought..



I think with this guy, him being like myself, he knows he has an advantage, how he knows is simple, YOU came at HIM, this puts you on shaky ground,and may have made you look desperate, (Don't sweat it babe, were not spoused to be figured out, more on that below)


I have to give this guy Credit, for not taking advantage of you being a little under the table with him, kissing is great plenty..and I'm glad to know that it only went that far, b/c i think you would feel even more confused if it would of lead to sex..So he has some class, shows you respect *sometimes* ?


But he isn't really wanting to show you too much, Why that is, i believe is because he may think if he does, the challenge is gone, or it could just be his defense like mine..the golden rule still holds true that being "once a man makes a women feel like she is better than him, there is nothing left for the women to chase after", she of course doesn't realize she has become a cat, and the guy plays the role of the mouse, but if you sit and think about it, it makes sense..learning how to flip the script is something that your going to have to perform on your own. what will it take to turn his Cold side to Hot? I can't say, but i have an idea what might help.


When you see him in person, give the strong vibe that your in the dumps, your depressed, see if he shows concern, comforts you, if he does than your in good shape, if he continues to cold shoulder you, than leave him alone, i say that because if a guy like that isn't interested, and the girl keeps coming at him, the cold shoulder will turn ICE COLD and may result in some pretty harsh words that could malice your feelings. but it's more of a Defense than anything, and it's not made to be taken to heart.

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Thanks for the replies. Im really not sure how to act at this point. I feel that Ive made it clear that I like him. Im not the pushy type so I don't want to come off too aggressive. I never want to be where Im not wanted. I only approached him because he seems to be very shy in that way and I was getting good vibes from him.


Cat and mouse is all well and good, Ive just never been the cat before. Im finding I don't like it too much and may just give it up anyways. We shall see. If there isn't enough encouragement, I might have to look elsewhere.


The only good thing about all of this is that Ive heard from several people I work with that he has never done that before (go out or have any kind of anything with anyone at work). Many of the women I work with have also apparently liked him at some point or another, but he has never reciprocated. I don't know. Maybe I like him so much because Ive been spoiled with guys and he's being difficult! Lol.

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Very agree S4il. I once crushed to a guy who showed very interested in the beginning, and we enjoyed flirting. But then when we got closer he simply cooled down suddenly and leaving me in misery and confusion . I left him alone for weeks before he really turns "ice cool” and he was back again .


Probably men don't like being too uptight. I agree with S4il.. just like cat-playing-mouse, don't show him everything.

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