Stole her virginity, but not sure about marriage

[pappy]

My 34 year old girlfriend allowed me to take her virginity two years ago. She really doesn't want to be with another man. Her family and culture are very traditional and expect the women to be with only one man in her whole life.

She is begging me to marry her.

 

I'm not sure about marrying her, but I feel a moral obligation to do so. When we first met, I lied to her about not having a girlfriend, but I did have

another one. If she had known this fact, she would never have dated me.

I told her about the other girlfriend after ending that relationship 3 months into the new relationship. My girlfriend was devasted and our relationship suffered alot for a year. After having a near death (cancer) experience, my girlfriend believes she's overcomed my past.

 

Any comments? Has anyone ever married in these circumstances? I told her I don't love her deeply and my love is shallow, but she is earnestly trying to rebuilt our relationship.

[toolgirl150]

Ok - your a bit of a cad. A thoughtful caring cad, but nonetheless, there you are.

 

First off, I realize cultural differences and religious difference dictate how people conduct their lives. IMHO - you didn't "steal" jack. Assuming you didn't rape her - you two had consensual sex. She lost her virginity. Those things happen. Its called life. I don't know what country your are writing from, but if it is from the US - y'all have to stop living in the 18th century.

 

OK - rant done. I think the answer is as plain as your face. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES MARRY THIS PERSON OUT OF GUILT. You will be condemning yourself and her to a half a life filled with regret, bitterness and phoniness. I don't know yours or her personal situation - but I would run from that situation as fast as my legs could take me. You've already said that you don't love her and you have been less than honest in your dealings with her. She's 34 years old and begging a man to marry her. I don't know what culture you are from, but it is a sad indicator that pushes a woman to act in such a way. Forget the concept that this will fix things or you are obiligated to her. Yes, you will be deemed the jerk in this whole scenerio - but think big picture. You will be doing everyone a favor to separate yourself from that situation ASAP.

 

DO IT.

[davidsbaby]

UMMmmmm oink!!!! Why are in this relationship? You say you don't love her "deeply". What does that mean? you love her shallowly(is that a word?) "she is earnestly trying to rebuilt our relationship" oh whatever-what are u doing for it? get out and give this woman some peace. you act as if u are some kind of gentleman-marriage is not a moral obligation-its a commitment built on love and trust and friendship. You obviously have not 1 of these qualities to offer her. GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!