Missing My GF - Getting her back??

[MrLonely]

Just 3 weeks ago, my gf broke up with me. We were together for a year and a half. The reasons she gave me were different then what she has told her girlfriends. When she is out with her gf she cried about me. Basically she wants to be single it seems. There is another guy she is interested in, although she hid that fact from me and her close friends.

 

What kills me is that she acted so close until the last moment, saying she loves, misses me etc. Then she dropped the bomb. Now she is saying that she hasn't felt the same for the last 2 months and needs time to be free and live a little. Her longest relationship prior to me was 2 months. I dont talk to her at all now - she basically dropped me cold turkey, but acted the same till the end. Now she is making immature little comments about me around mutual friends, not somthing I'd expect from her.

 

I am 22 and she 20. I am being told by her friends that she doesnt realize the mistake she is making, and to move on - cause i will find somone better. But i dont care - i love her too much. I have thought about sending her flowers, but she said she didnt want them.

 

I've read i need to let her go if there will be any chance of getting her back...I have called her once to try to talk about it, and she was acting funny (as if she had a huge wall up against me) and said no. Her friends are also saying she is not herself anymore.

 

Any advice? I am very distraught.

[rnorth]

Don't talk to her for 2 weeks to a month. Then if she doesn't contact you first, send her an email or call out of the blue just to see how she's doing. Act casual but not cruel.

 

Take some space for yourself in the meantime.

[Yorkrose23]

The best thing to do is give her time. Let her think about what she wants.

In the meantime, don't worry, have fun, and let whatever happens happen.

[MrLonely]

Thanks. I have only talked to her twice since; The first time she called (it was 3 days after) and said she was calling to tell me why, because her friend said she should. Then i called her and "but my heart on the table" but she only walked on it.

 

The petty comments now are really driving me. Also, its so confusing how she acted compleatly normal (calling, emailing, "Miss you, love you") right up until the last moment, then no contact.

 

Why do she do that??

 

Her friends have said "She doesnt realize the mistake she is making"...but i dont want false hope.

[if only]

I'm so sorry Mr Lonely I know like too many of us on here what you are going through right now.

 

I too had an ex who was telling me he loved me right until the end we even went on holiday together and he was telling me he couldn't imagine ever being without me 2 weeks later out of the blue its over for him to be single.

 

I guess when I look back on it now even though I felt it was perfect at the time all these emotions he was saying to me was because he was confused he couldn't deal with the fact he may be without me so he shared these thoughts with me but not the thoughts of wanting to be single. In the end the other thought ruled the end.

 

The best thing someone said to me is he may have been have been saying these things to you and at the time meant it but he is not coming back - 7 months today and nope he is not back but I am a lot happier without him.

 

He also turned so cold and gave different reasons to his mates from what he said to me, we have not spoken since and he is now with someone else.

 

I read a book 'Don't call that man' I know it is meant for women but I feel it should be used for both sexes it has exercises in it that helped me move on quickly and realise why I was so attached to him and the relationship. It was also an aid for me to read when I wanted to call him and I didn't even get to the end it was that great.

 

I know its tough and you want her back but always look forward never back. There are issues there which wont resolve within a couple of weeks and if you went back to being together you would end up insecure. Do things for you, if you meet someone else it could be forever you may never be single again so make the most of things as they are now.

 

I know its hard but it does get better!!! Good luck

[MrLonely]

Thanks - we too took a trip together this past summer. Man it was excellent.

 

This girl was everything to me, and the way she talked at me - it seemed she felt the same way.

 

The hardest thing is losing her in an instant. It's like she died, since now with the petty comments and no-contact, its like i lost her.

 

I would do anything to get her back - so i guess the best thing to do is to stop contact and wish

[if only]

I know you want her back you need time to heal.. those wounds are still open mine are nearly closed.

 

It takes time to heal, and if you try NC for a few months you will protect yourself from hurting more. In the mean time you can get back to what she fell in love with in the first place and enjoy spending time with yourself.

 

You will get better it just takes time.

[MrLonely]

Thanks for you kind words.

 

I would love to jump into her head and see why she is acting the way she is? If she is as done as she says she is, why make stupid comments and get really mad when anyone mentions me?

 

Any ideas? It makes no sense.

[MrLonely]

I'd love to know why she is acting the way she is. Immature and all.

[MrLonely]

Even better, anyone wanna try and explain her actions?? Self justification?