How are some people able to walk away...?

[toolgirl150]

From something really really good?

 

Hi folks - its me again. And I'm in a philosphical vent mode. I can't really yammer on and on with my friends and co-workers about this stuff because I can see their eyes glaze over. So y'all get my rants!

 

I've been pondering for sometime how some people (like my ex and many other stories I have read here) are able to calmly walk away from wonderful relationships. Note: i'm talking about those kind of break ups where everything is wonderful and then - pow - their gone. You knew in your gut that they still love you, loved you crazy when they were there and when you see them again you sense that passion all over again. Those kind of relationships where they were wonderful, you were wonderful, yet they leave anyway.

 

I was stuck on that concept for some time. until it hit me.

 

Its about HONESTY. I don't know if this will help any of you out there who have been dumped in this fashion but IMHO, normal people with their head on straight and their hearts in the right place would never leave a love that is so great. Life is so full of pain, and struggle, who would?

 

Well, people who have been dishonest - either with other people, you or even themselves. People who do that usually have hidden lives, secrets and obligations they think they have to uphold It all came clear to me when I realized what I was to my ex. I was an escape. When he would see me, it was wonderful. He didn't have to worry about money, we could go out and do fun stuff (I paid) no solicitors calling all hours of the day, no fear of his ex suddenly showing up and cutting off her purse strings, no smothering disfunctional (and past abusive) family, we could act like a normal couple going out. But when he went home, he had to face all his crap. See, my mistake was I thought the normal couple thing was real. No, just the escape.

 

So that's my theory. People that seem to go up in a puff of smoke for no apparent reason were not showing their true selves. They may have showed a face that they would want to live but for whatever reason, thought they couldn't in reality.

 

I dont' know if that makes sense -

 

any other theories? (remember - this theory only applies to those relationships that are great and both parties know it in their gut - but someone still leaves)

[Kolgar]

I just left a great relationship because we want different things. She wants marriage and kids - I'm 33 and not convinced either is right for me.

 

Yet we love each other. We never fought, we always had fun when we were together - it was the best relationship either of us ever had. But we can't have each other because our goals are different.

 

Back to your theory - I agree. Most of the time, if someone walks away from a "perfect" relationship, what one of the two people doesn't realize is that the relationship wasn't so "perfect" after all.

 

Rob