Are my expectations too high?

[xcountryprincess]

I was talking with my friends about what we would like a boyfriend of ours to be like and as i was describing mine, my friends said i was way too picky.one of thier main reasons for saying this was that i found alot of the guys people were dating at my school rather unattractive (i go to an all girls school, so this would be guys they were able to find outside of school) as well as because of my description of the "dream guy".

 

Now in brief i said i wanted a boyfriend i found attractive and yet also intelligent and focused on school and his future.

 

i honestly dont think that is too much to ask for seeing as beauty is in the eye of the beholder ( which i have gradualy understood to be true)

 

My friends seem to think that my idea of attractive is "movie star/model" status. This bothers me because i myself am not "model" like and so i dont see how someone i think is gorgeous will be interested in me if this is the case.

 

My question i guess basically is should i lower my standards or what i look for in a guy, or should i uphold them, not settle, and wait for the right guy to come along?

 

If i do need to lower my " standards" how do i go about doing this?

[LateralEarth]

I don't think you should lower your standards. They don't sound outragious to begin with so, just stick with it. Things will happen as they should just know what you want and don't settle for less!

[disguisedpixie]

Personally i don't think there's any point having standards, cos when the right person comes along, you'll just know it and it won't matter if he's not as attractive as the perfect guy you've got in your head. But i think attractiveness and intelligence aren't that demanding at all.

[GettingOverIt]

The truth is, you have to have some standards. From there, it is up to you how rigid those standards are. For example, I have a friend who started dating this guy. My friend says she cannot stand guys who chew tobacco. That was one of her standards - no guy that chews. She met someone and found out after they'd been dating awhile that he chews only at work (I don't buy that, but that's not my issue). So, she had to decide if she liked this guy more than his 'work' chewing... So far, she has modified that standard, and she is still seeing him.

 

There are no standards too high, so far as I can see. And, I can tell you from experience that 'settling' will never work. If you settle, then one of two things will happen:

 

1) You will grow miserable over time because you will know that you have 'settled', and You may look to others to find what is/was missing.

2) You will miss out on the love of a lifetime because you gave up on your standards before finding 'The One.'

 

I have done both. Been There, Done that, trying to get over it...

 

Trust me - DO NOT SETTLE