Her mother threaten to kick her out...

[Denalhi]

She and I have been together for 6 mo. I recently had an argument with her mom and her 2 sisters, about how it seemed that thay were pushing her onto another guy and away from me. The argument level escalated quickly to yelling, and needless to say I was the bad guy. I'm 33 and she is 21. She desperatly wants approval from her (mother) family but is affraid to stand up to them. She tells her mom were just friends now, and says to me that she doesnt want to be without me; and loves me with all her heart, as do I love her. I have appologized to her and her mother, yet her mom is still giving her grief.

 

I feel nothing can be resolved without talking to her mom and explaining that although I'm sorry about the argument, we love each other, and unless she (my girlfriend) asks me to leave her alone, I'm not giong away.

 

Anyone been in this position before? How would you aproach her mother, even though she (my girlfriend) doesent want me to. I do not want to sneak around.

[avman]

If your girlfriend has asked you not to approach her mother, then don't. You aren't the one that would have to deal with the consequences if it goes badly - she will. She would be very angry if you were the one that caused another blow up.

 

If she's asked you to let her deal with it, then respect her decision. If you still want to talk to her mother, talk to your girlfriend about it FIRST.

[bumble_b]

hi

it may not be relevant to you but i am in a similar situation but the other way round. i have fallen out with my parents over the bloke i have been going out with for 8 months now. they dont like the fact that he comes from council house, he has done nothing wrong, just his brother is a bit of a bad boy. i dont like bringing him home anymore but maybe i should. they tell me to finish with him but i wont because i love him. i think they now realise im not leaving him. however it may be different because you are older and where as im only 17 and this may just be young love. it is difficult for both of you, but then why is it mums are always right? if you love her then you can get through it, let her deal with it and in the end she will have to give in

hope it all gets sorted xxx

[PAdreamer]

Wow, this is a hard situation. When my boyfriend and I first got together, his mother literally hated me. I could actually hear her when he and I would talk on the telephone as she would shout to him that I'm a gold-digging w*ore who was just using him for a free ride. LOL! He's 8 years older than me, and she didn't know me, so I guess she was just acting out of concern... a lot! LOL! We've been together for a year, and it's only been very recently (within the last week) that his mother has shown unconditional support to us. I had to work very hard to not step on her toes, even when I felt she was in the wrong. I had to understand that if any action was to be taken, it had to be Aaron's doing. She was out to protect him, so HE needed to show her that he didn't need her protection.

 

And I, instead of showing her how offended I felt at her assumptions about me, had to work to prove to her that I truly love her son and that I wanted him to be happy. Instead of inflaming the situation, I stayed in the backgroud and gradually moved my way forward at a pace that made everyone comfortable.

 

Your girlfriend's family is obviously very important to her, and you will need to respect that if you want to make things easier on her. Her family is already trying to make her choose between them and you... Don't make her feel like you're doing the same thing.