I cant take the thought of being alone without him!!! Help!!

[hurtwou]

ok recently I found the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, Oniel. I love him with all my heart. He does everything for me and he never lied to me. Today I was over his house and his friend Angel was there, who is also my ex. Oniel went out for awhile and Angel kept flirting with me and whatever. He then pulled me into him and kissed me. I felt so bad. so I told Oniels sisters, and Angel turned in around on me sayin I was sayin I loved him and that I kissed him! I flipped out. I think Oniel believes Angel, and Oniels sisters are sayin they think Oniel is gonna break up with me. I love him so much. But I think he fell out of love with me and he likes another girl, Trina. I keep crying. He said he was comin to my house 2morrow and he wants the truth like he dont already believe me. I cant believe Angel, I can hardly stand the kid let alone love him! Oniel was the one I wanted to spend my life with, and I dont think that will be happening, come 2morrow im pretty sure its gonna be over. Whenever I think about not havin him I get an empty feeling in my stomach and im so scared, please tell me what I should say to him so I dont lose him!!!!!

[lillady898]

Tell him the truth, and don't sugar-coat it. The more you try to make something seem okay, the more he will think you are lying. Just tell it how it is. If he can't see your sincerity and trust what you are saying... That's enough of a reason to end things with him. You know? Good luck with this. I've always thought honesty really is the best policy, as cheesy as it sounds.

[chai714]

It's important that you're honest with him about the whole incident. But here's a step by step "playbook" of what you should do.

 

1) Apologize - do this first and do it fast, because you were WRONG in what you did. It takes two to kiss, and you were one involved.

 

2) Depersonalize Impact - Tell him that you were only being nice to Angel because you care for him as a person, but Angel may have taken it the wrong way and thereforeeee tried to kiss you (is this the case?).

 

3) Restore Balance - Tell him how much this has been bothering you - losing sleep, thinking about the possibility of losing him, and how the event has affected you in a negative way.

 

4) Listen. Listen to what he has to say, and agree. If he's mad at you, he has a right to be. Let him know that if you were in his shoes, you'd be mad at you too. What this does psychologically, is puts you both on the same side, thereforeeee bringing you closer to him and he will not see you as opposition.

 

5) NEVER let this happen again. Assure him, assure yourself, and LIVE BY YOUR WORDS.