Empathy Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Here's the deal. I am with out a doubt an alcoholic. (At least I think I am. If anyone else thinks otherwise, let me know. If you agree, then let me know as well.) I love the way it makes me feel but I don't like what it's actually doing to me. I just can't stop. One of the things I always valued about myself is my intelligence and since I started drinking heavily, that aspect has declined. Even though I know I'm causing brain damage I just can't stop. I have a speech due TOMORROW and you know what I did? I took a few gulps of some whiskey, some wine, and some vodka (stealing from my parents!) because I honestly felt that I needed it. When I get depressed the FIRST thing on my mind is, "I need a drink." When I'm already a little drunk I'll steal more alcohol from my parents and I won't care whether or not I get caught b/c all I WANT is to be more intoxicated. For some reason I think that feeling good for the moment is worth getting caught. If I become afraid of getting caught for the alcohol I'll raid the medicine cabinet! (Dad's a pharmacist). I'll do these things even when I'm not depressed. All it takes is for me to have a little taste of inebriation and I'm held captive by how it makes me feel. I need someone to help me find my way out of this rut. I'm terrified b/c I can't retain or recall information as well as before. Even knowing that it's taking away something so valuable to me I still can't stop. And even though I'm feeling really buzzed at the moment I still feel that I need more. I need someone to tell me how to break this debilitating addiction. (excluding professional help. I need advice on how to do this on my own. Parents wouldn't be too sympathetic) Thanks in advance for any advice. (EDIT: I already know what it's doing to the rest of my body so please don't remind me. It will only make me feel worse. ) Quote Link to comment
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