What do i do now?

[truelve]

I have recently broken up with my bf of 2 years a few days ago. In the beginnings i was very happy with him he was sweet romantic and considerate and then somewhere along the lines things changes. I believed he really did love me and no doubt i loved him. He was soooo sweet he would write me the most heart warming letters and make me feel beautiful but then towards the end he made me feel soo bad about myself and ugly and he didnt care that it was breaking me down and hurting me deeply. I wrote to him talked to him but he would just get mad and wouldnt want to talk of his wrongs. He was always insecure and sensitive. Situations came up where he would embarrass me in front of others and i have always been the type to keep our fights private. He would say mean things to me, start fights blame me for his faults and then expect me actually ask me to say sorry for things that werent my fault and me being the dumbass that i was would say sorry bc i reached the point that i couldnt fight anymore. So this last time he pulled this i couldnt take it anylonger. I gave this guy a 120% of me and my best. Everyone would tell him he was soo lucky to have me and he knw i came from a good family and he knew how everyone respected me and i showed him respect and love and for awile he did too. But as soon as i would be upset or mad about something he would leave be rude or not listen to what i was saying and it was like he could be mad but i couldnt and i tried talking to him millions of times but he would just get mad and although i would cry it didnt matter that he was hurting me. My friends say that this is the true him but i cant help but think that he might have something to feel guilty for and is trying to blame me to justly his faults. He would say he would want to marry me and that im his life but when you love someone wouldnt you want to stop hurting them when you see their breaking down bc of you? I feel breaking up with him was the only choice i had but im very depressed sad hurt and angry. My question is what do now? i dont want to get back with him but im not sure where my mindset should stand now?

[Iceman26]

Well when you bring up issues you have with him, how are you bringing it up?

 

Do you complain a lot to him or are you whiny towards him, or do you try to be tactful and mature about the issues you have with him? That can make a difference in his reaction. Is he insecure and hypersensitive?

 

Bottom line, if he treats you like this, he is emotionally controlling you. I just got out of a relationship 3 weeks ago with a girl that is exactly the same way your ex boyfriend is. You can either choose to get pushed around by lame insecure people or you can move on to someone who will value you, and your feelings, thoughts and opinions.

[Vanilla]

you say this just started recently. do you think he cheated on you???

 

I posted this for someone else who said their boyfriend was also turning hostile against them.

 

Well I have read many articles and spoken to people whose partners were cheating/addicted to porn, something shameful along those lines and they say that when this person does something like this they feel guilty. What they do to tame the guilt is find flaws in their partner, start critiszing them, putting them down, making them the bad guys. THis is because when they do this, they convince themselves that what they did/are doing is justified.

 

This could be a possibility but I am not saying it is what is going on.

 

Another reason could be he is tired of the relationship and does not know how to get out of it. So maybe he's just picking fights with you and making you feel bad so you will ease thejob on him by ending the relationship.

 

Whatever the reason is , you should not be taking this from anyone. It is sounehalthy to have someone humiliate you infront of others and make you doubt how worthy you are.