How can your friends be supportive when you are trying to find someone?

[Tom the fool]

Or maybe the better way to ask the question is this:

When you have felt supported by your friends when you were single but looking, what has that been like?

 

I think I’ll leave the question general for now. I am asking the question for personal reasons.

[SpottiOtti]

Well, for us girls it might be different. But my friends have

 

1. Kept an eye out for me, guys I might be interested in. Set me up with guys.

2. Engaged in post-date reviews and examinations.

3. Not bad-mouthed guys that I've gotten serious with.

4. Told me a guy was no good for me.

 

These things all made me feel supported by my friends.

[Tom the fool]

I think I’d like it if one of my friends would do 1. Or even just keep an eye out for an event where I might meet some women.

[Batya33]

My friends introduced me to eligible men, were really good listeners and supportive when I got frustrated with dating, were supportive when I met someone new. My parents also did their very best although it was hard for my mother because "of course" she wanted me to get married already!

[savignon]

My friends don't have a lot of single friends but have been good listeners and dissected various dates I have been on. Mostly I've found that the people who want to set me up are work friends.

Try putting out there to various groups that you're interested in meeting someone so they'll think of you when they hear something or about someone.

[Tom the fool]

Hrm. I think I need to expand the groups of friends I have. Right now, I don’t think the people I spend my time with are very good at seeing opportunities for me. They’ve known I’ve been looking for … a pretty long time. They’re good at sympathizing and reflecting, but …

 

Actually, these comments are all very helpful. Thank you.

[savignon]

I said to a nice (married) guy at work years ago "hey -you're such a great guy and 'birds of a feather' as they say..if you have any single friends looking to meet someone, keep me in mind!". It was very friendly and no-pressure and he was flattered I'd be attracted to someone with similar qualities.

[MsAdorkable]

Well, for us girls it might be different. But my friends have

 

1. Kept an eye out for me, guys I might be interested in. Set me up with guys.

2. Engaged in post-date reviews and examinations.

3. Not bad-mouthed guys that I've gotten serious with.

4. Told me a guy was no good for me.

 

These things all made me feel supported by my friends.

 

All of this and they know when to come by with booze and/or ice cream when things are just not going well. And they don't rub their happily coupled status in your face or ever make you feel like a 3rd wheel.

[majmun]

Only women have replied so far. Interesting.

 

I've never had a friend look at for girls I might be interested in, but I also don't look for girls for them, so I see no issue there. If there's a girl I like they will help me get a date, if I need help, though (and vice versa).

[MsAdorkable]

Only women have replied so far. Interesting.

 

I've never had a friend look at for girls I might be interested in, but I also don't look for girls for them, so I see no issue there. If there's a girl I like they will help me get a date, if I need help, though (and vice versa).

 

That is interesting. Most of my friends are guys and I find them quite supportive most of the time. I guess I figured they did the same for each other.

[wsim]

My friends, while supportive have known that I've been single for a very long time. Some know that I have always been single as well. Unfortunately, most don't really have anyone to set me up with. The reality of the situation is that single girls are very few and far between, or the girls that they know are in relationships, engaged or married. Most of my friends are guys but I have several female friends as well.

 

I do have one friend who recently introduced me to her single friend. She is a great person and attractive. We have went on a few dates, but not sure of her interest level at this point. Hopefully it does work out, although it may not. I am keeping expectations low and focusing on getting to know her better as a person.

[majmun]

That is interesting. Most of my friends are guys and I find them quite supportive most of the time. I guess I figured they did the same for each other.

 

I guess we will also tell each other if a girl isn't good for some reason.

 

Post date-reviews though... I don't even know exactly what that would entail, so I'm going to say my friends and I don't do that. If we do, then probably in some other form.

 

As for not looking for girls that a friend might be interested in... that may be an age/situation thing.

[Stay_home]

One of the things (among many) that I don't find supportive is those particular friends who try to set you up on dates with people that they know are not your type. Almost as if you're desperate and that much in need of somebody is what it seems like to me.