How would u feel if HE had 3somes B4 meeting you??

[SweetGemini]

what if u r in a very loving relationship and you can tell your partner everything and then find out that he had 3somes and 4somes before meeting you... But now that he has you it is even better and much happier? He is very happy to be in a monogamous relationship with a beautiful loving hot chick!

 

Hmm guys your thoughs?

 

girls?? what would you do?

[EnolWolf]

I don't see anything wrong at all. Did that make you feel strange in anyway?

 

I told my new girl that I've given oral and she always seems like she would be disgusted to kiss me. I only did that once and it was like 4 months ago!

 

It depends on the person I guess.

[SweetGemini]

yeah felt very strange, very weired feeling. i still love him so much but i never expected that from him... hmmm

[San123]

I would probably feel weird finding that out too.

[SweetGemini]

i think its the fact that my mind drifts off thinking about him in those situations, i dont know if its a turn on, or just perverted! its difficult to explain! is anybody out there that is in same situation... i mean i love him but what if he misses that kind of thing!?? maybe that is what is really bothering me...

[Mun]

Hi there,

When I was younger I had so many hang-ups about so many things--particularly about sexual things. Now that I'm older I think I've accepted alot of stuff because I look at the person and not their past.

 

I think in this case it's the person that is with you now that is important.

 

I don't think I would hold it against someone I loved if they had experimented sexually in their past as long as they were honest about it. I personally wouldn't ask about that though--why make myself miserable worrying about it? It's in the past--before me--it has nothing to do with me really. The only concern would be with STD's and I would tell my partner to get a check up.

 

This is what I would see: the previous lovers made him the great lover he is today...maybe I should thank them?

[Vanilla]

sweet gemini

 

i would feel very weird and uncomfortable, however that is why I wouldnt ask in the first place.

 

Yes it is very nice to be able to tell your partner...well just about anything. Just about means you leave your past sexual experiences on lockdown. Chances are someone wont want to know much about it or less the details. I personally do not share that information with my boyfriend. what matters is what we have now and our sex life. it is none of my business what he did before he met me nor is it his business what i did before i met him.

 

it is like this for a reason. he does not want the image of his woman with other men in an intimate way nor do I want to be thinking of him and other girls. Its better off that way. now if you feel like you really needed to know...yeah these things happen and now you get all weirded out and possibly even uncomfortable

 

oy vey!

[ReadyorNot]

I would feel very weird about it as well.. but what can you do?? YOU cant punish someone because of their past... you cant say you dont want to get involved with someone because of their past....

 

When I met my bf (semi ex now) he was drunk.... we were at a party thing in a field and we chatted and hung out all day so we talked alot about our exs (we were both dumped 8 months before meeting)

 

I heard ALOT about his ex.. .he said all they did was have sex.. and thats all they had together... and he told me how he cheated on her.. she never found out and he still felt guilty...

 

Once we got into a relationship all this stuff he had told me that day was flying around in my head.... It really bothered me because I had previously been in a relationship where we both were virgins and have never even fooled around with anyone else...

 

Eventually he got really upset with me and it ruined the relationship we had for a bit...

 

I would suggest forget about it.. he wasnt with you then.. he didnt even know you then.... I wish I had of just forgotten about it too

[Day_Walker]

What you have to ask urself is if you are willing to accept that kind of behavior in his past. You claim that its a loving relationship then are u willing to give that up because of something in his past? Most people tend to look past things that happened in their partners past. You have to decide for yourself if you want to deal with it or not. If you are going to ask next time then u should do it in the initial stages of the relationsihip that way if you dont want to be involved with a person like that then its easier to get out.

[_Ramirez_]

I would like to present this from a different angle.

 

Think that since he already tasted it and experienced it, he is most likely with you because he decided to be monogamous and that it is something he wants and choose knowingly. Would you rather have a man that think about it or dream about it or a man that did it, found out it wasn't for him and now that he found the pearl he was looking for he's ready to be exclusive with her?

 

My wife had a 3some before me and even if it was a turn on for her before she did it, she found out that it wasn't that great. She don't want to experience it again, I know that for sure, even if she was single again and I prefer that tough instead of thinking that she might want to try it behind my back.

 

His past experience is what makes him who he is, its better it did this kind of stuff before knowing you so he won't want to do them while he's with you. You should take this as a compliment instead of judging it, he thinks that you are so special that he can confide in you about his past and that he now think you're worth all the women in the world so now he only need you and not 3 of them at once

[Vanilla]

yeah i think everyone has agood point, but i still think its best to keep your sexual past to yourself unles syou have some sort of STD then you need to have your partner aware.

 

other than that your sexual past is personal and private, just like ones fantasies. They are your own and its no one elses business to know what they are or what you did in the past. Just because they happened does not mean you'll want to do them again. Just like fantasies, everyone has them, but most people wouldnt want to act out on them.

 

I think that before your man tried it it must have been a fantasy of his like it is for many men. I know guys who have done it and say it ruined the whole experience. That is usually why most people dont want to act out fantasies, because they know that it wouldnt be as great in reality.

 

I am sure like ramirez said, that he now knows thats not what he wants. most guys i know that have had a 3some or so say they wish they'd never done it in a way, like one of my closest guy friends said "it really kills the fantasy, it isnt what its made out to be, in the end you realize you just want a good girl and thats it".

 

So i think your boyfriend has found his good girl and is probably happier than he's ever been.

[TheIceman]

Ye it feels weird but now theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, its in the past, thats the best place to leave it so dont let it bother you, just try to forget about it.

[DBL]

I wouldn't be happy if my woman did something like that. I would get rid of her. I had my opportunities to have a 3 some, but I have too much respect for myself, too strong of morals, and I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror. I would expect the same from someone I was dating. If they don't have strong enough morals then I don't want them around me. I'm not asking for the virgin Mary, just enough self-respect.

 

DBL

[mahlina]

What's in the past, is in the past, right? If he did have a 3-some, then maybe he was just enjoying his young singles life. Perhaps that's just his preference? Try not to let it bother you. As long as he doesn't contract any vinerial disease, then I wouldn't worry about it. Make sure that he gets his blood test. Have him test for STDs, also, make sure that he's completely honest to you about this. If he hesitates to have the tests done, then be aware. I'm taking this class, and just looking at all of these genital warts, and diseases, really freaks me out. So, make sure that he's safe, so that you don't contract anything.

 

Meanwhile, put the past where it belongs. If he truly doesn't enjoy 3-somes, then try not to let it bother you. But, if he does like it still, then that's a part of who he is. It's best to not change him, if that's his preference. But that will be something that will be conflictive of your values as well. I personally would find it hard to stay with a partner who wants enjoys 3-somes. I couldn't hang with a person like that. I think that sex should be between 2 people, especially because sex should be an act of love. Having a 3rd person in the picture, just doesn't communicate sex as love, rather, it's more of a lustful desire. To me, it says something about their character, if they enjoy it.

[Vanilla]

I agree with DBL. I couldn't date someone who was in a 3some. I myself find it not in my standards. I mean while it may be many peoples fantasy to be smothered bewteen two men (oh my i like that thought!) or two women, thats all it should be (IN MY OPINION) a fantasy.

 

Someone who crosses the line and makes a fantasy into reality (in my opinion) may not have the willpower or character enough to stop themselves from other fantasies which conclude in being unfaithful.

 

I dont know maybe I'm old fashioned in some ways but to me it is REALLY important that a man has his morals/values set up high as mine and has very strong will power. But I'm speaking of morals and values that match MY OWN, everybody has different views and feelinsg on different things.

 

If it doesn't go against anything you believe in, and he does not ask you to have a 3some with him, then you should be ok and be able to put it aside. If he were to EVER ask you to have a 3some, youre screwed, because that just shows he will never stop wanting them.

 

Now if you find yourself bothered, and unable to stop thinking about it, you may want to re-evaluate your situation.

 

You havn't posted really on how you feel about it now, and if it is a problem for you..

 

It would be a problem for me, but there are many who wouldnt care so to each their own, you worry about how it will affect YOU if it even affects you at all.

 

Good luck!

[tahlia]

I don't see anything wrong with it if you trust him and he says that he's happier now just with you. It was probably just a one off. I think more people have them than they let on. I gues for me it would dpeend if he was with two girls or a guy and a girl. The latter scenario may freak me out a little. Other than that if i found myself with the chance of being with two guys i was attracted to and i'd had a couple of drink i'd probably do it too. Its good to be open to new things i think as long as your safe. You only live once.

[SweetGemini]

Thanks for your kind comments, and thanks for opening my eyes ramirez..

 

He loves me very much and is very commited to this relationship, he sees me as a princess and holds me up high on a pedestal... he would pretty much do anything for me... although sometimes he is very stubborn!

 

He has always used protection and always got tested, he was always overprotective of that...

 

if he told me this from the beginning i might have not continued to pursue the relationship, but i love him so much now, and im glad he didnt tell me back then, because i wouldnt have what i have now, which is a man that loves me so much and shows me the utmost respect... he said he hit jackpot with me, and never knew that girls like me existed...