Finding Myself.

[under_the_pressure]

I want to thank you in advance for taking time to read this, I need all the help I can get.

 

Next weekend, I get $2,000 to go shopping. Most girls my age, would be excited right? Well, the man taking me is like my Grandpa and he has the money to take me so it's pocket change to him. My normal outfit's consist of jeans, black tshirt, and my converse shoes. That's me. He and my Mom always say, they want to 'doll me up.'

 

As we know, there are labels in this words. Such as; goth, punk, prep, skater...etc I don't pay attention to that labels, but some do. I don't mind being 'dolled up' but, it's not like I would want to be that way all the time. I have never been a girly girl. I was always 'tomboy' or hanging with the guys.

 

But, a few reasons I don't know what to actually shop for when I go is because Mom wants me to be this 'girly girl' when that isn't who I am, and that's what Grandpa wants, and he is paying for my clothes. And, there are times I want to dress like an actual girl but other times no.

 

It all goes back to finding myself. It isn't about my clothes or what I buy. I just don't know who I am. This is probably the most confusing post ever, and I apologize.

 

I know that if I dress how I usually do which is jeans, tshirts then:

 

I'll be comfortable. But guys (yes, I know...guys.) aren't attracted to that. They probably want girls wearing shirts that show cleavage and pants skin tight.

 

I'm just really confused, right now.

 

Hmm, I don't know what else to add right now. I was just wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or if anyone thinks they could give me advice.

 

I guess I can always add to it. I just don't know what else to say for right now. Thanks for reading though, if you made it this far. I'm just really confused with...myself right now. And I'm put *under the pressure* of being someone who I'm not sure I want to be.

 

Thanks for the replies in advance.

 

under*

[San123]

WOW!!!! $2000, thats awesome! With that kind of money, why dont you get a little bit of everything... some girly stuff, some comfortable, and some in the middle, that way everyone would be happy.

[DBL]

I always been a jeans and t-shirt (or no shirt like my pic) my whole life. Unfortunately when you hit the age where you start to build some character...most my friends went preppy. I did that for one day and did not feel comfortable in those clothes and never wore anything like that again...except on interviews. I look good dressed up...just don't like it. Plus it throws my concentration off wearing clothes that I don't feel comfortable in.

 

I would just tell your mom and grandfather that you don't feel very comfortable in certain types of clothes. You are in process of finding out who you are, so go with what you are comfortable with. Maybe pick up a couple of girlie things for when you visit your grandfather.

 

Have fun

DBL

[nexus532]

yea, 2000 is quite impressive. you think your grandpa could lend me some money. Just kidding, your only 14 so do what ever makes you happy. Your grandpa should understand that times have changed and the fasions have changed. But you should buy one nice outfit and wear it around to make him happy.

[Hailey]

I'd say buy a girly dress just to please your grandpa. For the rest, get a bit of different types. You never try before anyway and you should. May be you'll like one of those and discover a new you.

[Gunther]

It does sound like an interesting problem. But you can dress like a girl and still maintain a certain amount of dignity. Just don't wear clothes that are to small or exesivly baggy clothes. This could be a very good opertunity for you, and I want you to make the best of it. Although I'm no expert on clothes, I can take a crack at this. It sounds to me like you will want darker clothes, try some blue or dark reds. Quite frankly I dont really care for girls who wear all pink anyways lol. I'd stick with jeans, but I would get some skirts or dresses for those days you feel like wearing something a little more girly. But throw some blacks in there for the days you just want to ....wear black. =p But, just make sure that you agree with everything you get. No point in your grandpa paying for something you'll never wear. Well, I hope this helped.

[Mun]

Hi there,

I think that once you get to the store you should enlist the help of the saleslady. She is there to help you afterall. Let her know what you told us. She will help you pick out things you like and get a couple of "girly" things to please mom and grandpa too ( and for boys to notice )

 

I have a feeling once you start shopping you will find your own personal style. There are just some things we KNOW we won't ever wear--I'm sure you will find some stuff like that in the store too and there are things we justs LOVE to wear.

 

If possible maybe grandpa can sit this one out while the sales lady helps you get your stuff. .... tell him its a GIRL THING.

 

Have fun

[melodystar22]

Here are some ideas: cute jeans, boots, turtlenecks, cute belts, sashes (to tie around your neck or wear as a belt), layered clothing, vintage tees, sandals, flip flops (in various colors), nail polish......the list goes on.

[under_the_pressure]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's not just about the clothes, it's goes deeper than that. It's about finding who I am, and I don't want to have 'one image.' I want to be able to wake up and put on what I want. Wear what I want, when I want. That is what I'm going to do.

 

I've never been the girl to dress for the guys. So I'm not going to start now, I'm just going to be me. And I'm sure I can find one guy who will be into me without me having to wear skin tight jeans and a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage.

 

I needed a sense of direction and I think I got it. Thanks for taking the time to reply to this, it meant alot.

 

under*

[somanaomi]

im not sure how much $2000 would be over here...but seems like a lot...just buy what you like! if you like comfy things (n converse are awesome, i got a pair recently n i love em!) get comfy things n if you also wanna be girly then buy some girly things...but if you picture yourself never wearin them dont buy them then. dont feel forced to be girly just because other people want you to ok!