How to reject the rejector?

[heartbrokengir]

Guys, I've been wondering about this and I've read it from majord23's post before. How do the dumpees become the dumper? Is NC really the answer? Just curious

[heartbrokengir]

nobody has any idea?

[Moontiger]

Im not really sure what your asking. Could you clarify?

[heartbrokengir]

Like you know how some people say even though you've been broken up with, you can reverse this to your favour and become the dumper by not letting your ex control your emotions? I am asking how that's done. Is it through NC?

[HeartGoesOn]

The only way an "ex" can control you, is if you allow them to, which is why going "NC" is for your benefit. I'm not sure what the point is in reversing it, in order for you to be the dumper?

[heartbrokengir]

The only way an "ex" can control you, is if you allow them to, which is why going "NC" is for your benefit. I'm not sure what the point is in reversing it, in order for you to be the dumper?

 

I guess I'm not explaining myself well. But I think the answer is NC.

[Moontiger]

If you mean you want to use NC to make your ex feel bad/want you back, then NO.

 

NC is only to heal yourself and move on.

[heartbrokengir]

If you mean you want to use NC to make your ex feel bad/want you back, then NO.

 

NC is only to heal yourself and move on.

 

No I am not using NC to make my ex want me back, I am doing it for myself. I guess I want to know how NC is going to affect my ex? would it make him feel hurt and miss me. But I understand, it's ultimately for me.

[Moontiger]

See, those whatever the answer to those question, it doesn't matter. However your ex reacts NC is only about you/

[heartbrokengir]

See, those whatever the answer to those question, it doesn't matter. However your ex reacts NC is only about you/

 

I guess I just want to know how NC affects my ex (sigh)

[blueidealist24]

I see what you mean, you don't want to be the rejected, powerless party. You don't want your ex back but you want to reject them in your mind, so you feel more like the rejector, and consequently like you have your power back?

[heartbrokengir]

I see what you mean, you don't want to be the rejected, powerless party. You don't want your ex back but you want to reject them in your mind, so you feel more like the rejector, and consequently like you have your power back?

 

 

 

Yes! That's exactly what I mean. Like I've been doing strict NC for 19 days since my BU. My ex broke NC twice and I just ignored him. I've never had trouble with breaking contact so I'm not worried about tempting to contact him. Heck I don't even care to read any of his texts, emails and will not pick up his call. But I wonder what this does to him. Just curious you know

[mhowe]

It does nothing to him. If he reaches out to contact you and you ignore him....he goes on with his day. The next time a random thought of you passes thru his head -- he either reaches out and texts...or says, "meh" and gets on with his day.

 

Not contacting him -- doesn't affect him. It heals you.

[FrenchFries]

It is an individual thing and no one can say for sure how it would affect him. Some exes care, others don't. No way to know really.