Need to Vent. Ugh.

[faerietale]

My boyfriend and I are on a temporary long distant relationship since he has to travel to Europe for work for 3 months.

We try our best to text and video chat since he's busy and I'm busy and the time difference is difficult for us. We are apart by 8-9 hours so when it's day here, it's night there.

 

Lately, his actions have been bothering me because he'll text me in the morning asking me if I could video chat later. I would then plan my day around it so that we could sync our time to talk. It is easier for me to do that since my schedule is more flexible. However, when I do leave work early to come home to talk to him, he'd fall asleep without telling me and I'd wait around for a few hours and then give up. This has happened more than once and today, I left work 4 hours early and even though we verbally communicated via text that I was coming home early to talk to him, he still fell asleep and didn't tell me. We can't set a day to talk since his work schedule is all over the place and is very unpredictable.

 

I know that he never asked me to do that and that I am doing this by choice, but it is upsetting to know that I'm trying hard to accommodate to his needs and his schedule while my time isn't respected at all. I know it's not on purpose but I can't help but feel unimportant since this has happened more than once and I keep having to reschedule everything for him. I never communicated my concern to him and I did today via text but I know he won't be able to respond until tomorrow since he's sleeping now.

 

UGh, I'm just upset and disappointed because the distance between us is not easy and for me to go through this is making it worse. Any advice on what I should do? Am I too childish about this?

[oAllElseFailo]

How long have you guys been together?

 

Why don't you talk to him about it? I too would be getting frustrated if I told my s/o ahead of time that i'll be off work early JUST to talk to them and they go to sleep on more than one occasion. Just don't let this ruin your relationship since it's only 3 months. Times get tough, just push through it

[faerietale]

We've been together 6 months. I texted him but I know that it might cause further conflicts since texting is never the ideal way to tell someone you're upset. I just don't know when we'll talk again and I didn't want to keep pushing it off. This is so frustrating.

[oAllElseFailo]

Yeah well If i were you, i'd just express how you're feeling. While both of your situations/time's aren't exactly ideal, he should at least understand that you keep trying to make time and leaving work early for him. Nothings wrong with letting him know you're upset. If texting is the only way to get a hold of him then do it. I sure wouldn't be able to put it off and wait.

[buddha55]

lol "He fell asleep and didn't tell me" .... well, duh. He was sleeping. What kind of job do you have? is it really so flexible? don't be detrimental to yourself. why can't he get up an hour earlier and video chat with you when you would normally be getting home? it's nice to be spur of the moment, but you guys should set up more of a routine... like sundays is video chat day, and if we happen to catch one another per chance then great.

[faerietale]

Haha I meant it would be nice if he just told me he was sleepy and needed to sleep instead of telling me he's waiting to talk and then I'm waiting for nothing.

 

I would love for us to have a set schedule of when we can talk, but again, his schedule doesn't permit that and mine is more flexible. It would be great if he could get up an hr earlier but since he only gets 4 hrs of sleep before work starts again.. I don't want him to do that.