Problem

[M2411]

Okay so I'm just gonna keep this simply and I'm not even sure if what I'm looking for is a solution maybe just looking for someone to talk sense into me. But anyways here's the deal. I'm a college sophomore and I have a girl up here I used to crush on who is now basically my best friend we do pretty much everything together almost all the time just me and her. Anyways she is also engaged to be married to a guy from here her high school she started dating in December they got engaged the week they started dating. He is currently deployed over seas. I guess my issue is I am worried I am started to develop stronger feelings for her an part of me kinda things she might be to do the conversations we sometimes have about her engagement and some of the doubts she sometimes voices to me. I don't want to destroy and lose this friendship cause she is truly the best friend I've ever had but part of me can't help but like the idea of me and her together. Any thing would be great here yelling at me to stay away from her or any kind of advice at all would be most welcome. Thanks in advance

[oAllElseFailo]

It's got to be hard for her when he's deployed over seas. But in 1 week of dating they got engaged? Did they date prior? I think that's moving WAY too fast and if it is indeed just from 1 week, that's probably why she has concerns already because the 2 don't even know each other well enough to decide they want to get married.

 

Anyways - here to see what others say about this because I'm practically in the same boat

[M2411]

Yeah i agree i know she has a rough time missing him and all they skype and talk whenever they can and In all honesty that's what I thought when she told me and i was the first to know even before her parents and I told her that i thought it was a rush but she's my friend so I told her I'd support her decision. And no they hadn't dated prior as she puts it this was a guy she knew a decent amount from high school and she'd always had a crush on and that she knew had liked her too they'd just never gotten together.

[oAllElseFailo]

It's way too fast in my opinion... I mean if she feels she wants to get married to this guy then great, but I would kind of steer her off just for her own sake of rushing into something when they don't even know anything about each other. I mean she knew him back in highschool. I don't know how old they are now but.. 1 week.. come on.. at least date for a while first before you know 100% that you two are right for each other.

[M2411]

Oh I agree with you and I've been hinting at her about possibly waiting a while before they get married actually she's told me the wedding isn't till October 2014 but I still feel she needs more time to get to know him like you said. But overall I'm not sure what I should do regarding how I feel about her possibly heck I don't even know what I'm feeling for her

[oAllElseFailo]

She still put herself in this huge commitment of marriage though when she's not even ready for it. Who cares if the wedding isn't for a while - why be engaged right off the bat for that long? They have to get to know each other

[M2411]

I agree with you on that

[HeatherB]

You've gotten yourself way too involved in her relationship. For your own sanity, take a step back. If you want, let her know that you're starting to feel an attachment that isn't appropriate to a friendship. I bet she'll appreciate your honesty, even if she doesn't react in the way you'd prefer. Being clear could save your friendship. Regarding sweeping her off her feet and away from her fiance, kill that dream. I'm sorry but it won't happen. Bite the bullet and feel the pain and just kill it.

[M2411]

Just to say it was never my intention to steal her away the thought hadn't even really crossed my mind. And yeah I know she's to good a friend to let one little thing ruin our friendship. And yeah I try not to get to involved to much in my friends relationships but before she met this guy she was going through a really tough time with her ex and things and she wanted me to help her with things and I did I mean I don't regret it I feel like our friendships stronger in a way that we trust each other with these things. But I will take your advice into consideration.