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I need someone to beat me with a stick so I dont break NC again ... Suggestions?

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Ran into the ex at a bar for the first time in 8 months , very unexpected but i feel as it i handle the situation quite well ( or at least i didnt make a fool out of myself ). She was there with a group of people and i was there with a few friends, We were only there for an Hr , she was on one side of the bar and i was at the other.


She seemed like she was having the time of her life without any worries - I tried to do the same. She said "HI" to one of my friends but nothing to me ( awkward ? ) Left the bar at 2 and didnt see her while we were leaving so I decided to send an email complementing on how nice her hair looked - no response


It isnt that she does not want to get back with me anymore whats bothering , whats bothering is how she can act so "cold" to not even aknowledge me or a simple complement .. It feels like a total "stranger" has a better chance that i do after being together for 4.5 years and engaged for 2 , I got the good old " i love you BUT im not in love with you " and she moved on to someone else right away.


it bothered me so much that i sent another email this morning letting her know that as awkward at it was seeing her saturday night i wanted to come up to her and just ask how things been going for her? but i didnt because she was there with friends. I also told her that this would be my last email she would get from me as i feel ignored and i didnt deserve that - once again - NO RESPONSE !


I am done trying to be civil with this girl, I am noones second choice nor i deserve the treatment that I AM ALLOWING from her !! enough is enough ... Im keeping my head up and moving on to better things in life !!


thanks !! wow, i feel better now just writting all these !!

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I'm sorry But yeah, it seems like she has moved on and does not want to correspond with you... and even though it hurts now, that's probably best for you in the long run. Your emotions are obviously still caught up, and any contact/response from her would probably just set you back. You told her that would be your last email, so keep your word.

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Your second email about wanting to catch up is fine, but the compliment about her hair may have made her feel uncomfortable because it's a comment on her attractiveness. It's like you are hitting on her again and she doesn't want to be seen in that way by you. So I don't interpret it as not being civil but that she doesn't want to send you the wrong message.


Let some more time go by and if you really hope to be an acquaintance you can email her but you have to be purely platonic. I hope you can see that if the only message you get from your ex in 8 months has to do with how nice your hair looks, that it might feel creepy and not like the guy is ready to be friends.


Maybe she will respond, maybe not, but you can see by now that it is not a priority for her, for whatever reason. She surely did not forget you, but this is how she is coping or choosing to deal with it. I suspect that she wants to discourage any hope that you will get back together and your commenting on her looks made her wary.

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Bro, she moved on. I think she was "over glamorizing" her life by acting like a million bucks and she didnt say hello to you because she knew it would make you really self conscious and jealous. Personally, I wouldn't have sent the message. It pretty much just tells her that her little antics worked. In the future, don't be afraid to give her the cold shoulder as well and mind your own business. If you end up seeing her more often randomly, it might make healing just that much easier for you when you can be in the same room as her and not say a word to her.

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