Abusive girlfriend to my 'friend' - can I help?

[Lialah]

I've got a 'thing' for my best friends brother.

 

An overwhelming attraction to him, his family and the way I feel around him.

 

But,

 

He has a girlfriend. Which is why I stay clear out of the way, except lately it's been hard to stop myself. She is abusive, she screams and yells at him, will break his possessions and she hits him when she gets angry. She is bipolar and refuses to be properly medicated.

 

Jon, the man in the relationship, is the make-it-work type. Even though he is suffering, and I'm afraid what he will be once she's done with him.

 

I can't invite him out to coffee to 'talk' or even message him because if she sees it, it will only be another fight for him. Not because my intentions of wanting him to be mine are known, any girl he talked to would get this reaction, regardless of how they knew Jon.

 

I also know, if I'm being honest, that we don't know each other well enough to do that, and there would be too much.. underlying attraction. I don't know he'd even believe I felt anything for him unless I announced it or showed him. He doesn't think a woman like me would go for a man like him.

 

I don't know if I'm being weak by not getting involved and potentially helping him see something other than the situation he is in right now.... or if I have to be strong by waiting it out and staying out of it, letting him stay until he is at breaking point. I hate this.

[metrogirl]

You do nothing because he is where he wants to be.

[becomingkate]

Maybe his sister can tell him that you find him attractive. If he thinks there are others out there that would want to date him, maybe he'll let the other girl go.

[SapphireNoir10]

Are you friends? If so you can let him know your there for him

 

But it sounds like he's chosen to stay with her, he doesn't have to stay.