My good friend/ex is ridiculously confusing...

[reves]

So I briefly dated this guy at the beginning of last year, we semi-mutually ended it after a dramatic episode where everyone was pointing fingers due to misunderstandings and my compulsively-lying friend managed to make me look like a possessive b**ch in such a way that it was impossible for me to defend myself without making the situation worse... Anyway, me and the guy kept in touch after everything and we have great chats,he's one of the funniest and brightest people I've ever met, but we've only seen other in person approx. 5-6 times since then due to his being in a town 25 min away, both of our busy schedules, and my lack of a license even though I'm 18 (I know it's lame but I'm working on it!)

 

The thing is, while being quite attractive as well as extremely smart (he tested out of his 1st year of college) this guy is also one of the most awkward people I have ever met as well as polite to a fault. He hates to say no to anything anyone asks him because he doesn't want to seem mean or inconvenience anyone. The problem with this is that it means that half the time I can't tell if he's talking to me because he actually enjoys talking to me, or if he's only messaging me back to be polite (it wouldn't cross my mind except that he texted a friend of mine for several months last year despite not really wanting to, just because she texted him first and he didn't want to be rude.)

 

For a while I didn't think I was attracted to this guy anymore, and I kept telling myself that I wasn't, but then whenever I saw him I would get that really cliche fluttery stomach feeling, and now I think I'm attracted to this guy on the level of maybe some sort of casual relationship-type thing? I don't think either of us would be capable of or want anything more serious than that. The thing is I can't figure him out; sometimes I won't hear from him for several weeks and then suddenly we'll chat on facebook almost everyday. Yesterday he told me that we should hang out because we hadn't in a while, and he complimented my new profile picture (both comments are fairly out of character for him.)

Last summer my best friend (who was dating the guy's best friend) talked to the best friend, who said that no, this guy did not have "residual feelings" for me.

So finally, my question is, how do I proceed? Do I have even a slight chance at some sort of "fling" with this guy? I'd like to at least continue to be friends with him but I'm not even sure how to do that at this point. Any thoughts/opinions would be much appreciated, I apologize for my essay-esque explanation!!

[abitbroken]

IS this guy the compulsive liar or is some other friend the compulsive liar? If he is the liar, why the heck do you want to be with him or even his friend? If he is not, then whatever happened - he did not see enough in you to continue after the drama. If he has no residual feelings for you, why would you want to pursue him? I would personally just move on. And if he is the type of person who can't say "no" to anyone - is that something you like?

 

If you really want to know if he wants to try again with you - just ask him. And if the answer is anything but "yes" then move on. If its "you are really nice, but.." or something wishywashy then move on. But you can only ask if you truly want to be with him, versus wanting just to fool around or making him one of your possibles. And honestly - if you can't drive - how would a relationship right now work anyhow? I wouldn't say anything until you get your license = or this will be a dead end if you can't see him.

[reves]

The compulsive liar was another friend entirely who lied to the guy about me in such a way that I ended up taking the fall for it. Thank you for the advice, it really helps

[TheRawTruth]

If he suggested you two hang out, that's a sign. Take him up on it. On the "date", see how he treats you. You'll be able to tell if it's just a friendship thing, or if he's into you. If you can't tell, and neither of you are brave enough to come out & ASK the other one (or tell each other how you FEEL) just call it quits. Two painfully shy people have virtually NO chance at making it.