Texting and killing flirty momentum by missing a joke

[benkuske]

I like to pride myself on my wit since I'm usually pretty quick. There's a girl who I feel like is teetering on the edge of interest and *hopefully* I'm slowly winning her over... Anyway, this is over-thinking BUT I ask because I am curious in the broader sense: ladies, how easy is it for you to lose a little spark of attraction/momentum if a guy misses a joke when texting?

 

Basically, I said something sweet and then clever/witty and I could tell a positive change in the tempo of texting and in her responses (more "haha"s, some longer texts, etc.) She had a clever response to something I said, but thanks to a drink I just had my brain wasn't working too fast and I basically asked her "what is that/what are you talking about?" instead of picking up on it (it was rather obvious).

 

She was like "it's not actually a thing..." and then a few min later I (finally) got it and responded, and she just goes "your sloowww". I said "haha only at the moment", and that was it (If I wasn't actually feeling so slow thanks to the drink at the time, I would have jabbed her back but literally couldn't think of anything

 

So this is mostly a pride thing but as someone who values quick wit and trying to impress someone, I literally hate the fact that I missed an obvious joke and the conversation just died there.

 

In a general sense, I want to know: I know girls value/wit intelligence. If you were having playful banter and were on the edge of interest (but not "there" yet), how big of a step back is missing an obvious joke like that? How much does that hurt momentum? I feel like it actually did make me look a bit slow, and was a bit of a step back?

[stuka80]

you're overthinking it way too much. If she likes you then you missing a joke wouldn't really matter, just relax and carry on carrying on.

[Edmund Exley]

There in lies the problem in texting

[Gimpyrks]

Welcome to being human haha

[epsilon2x]

There in lies the problem in texting

 

I didn't want to take this thread too off topic, but since you said it first, I'll expand on it.

 

There's nothing quick and witty about texting. If you're so quick and witty, use it to your advantage and either talk in real life or talk on the phone. For all you know, she's sitting next to a friend deciphering each and every one of your texts and vice versa.

 

Also it's much harder to convey "flirty" over a text message than it is to do so over talking. There's things you can't say over a text message in a flirty way unless you two really know each other very well, whereas you could say the exact same things over the phone by changing your tone.

[Sportster2005]

Friends don't let friends text and flirt. Flirt with your eyes and smile.

[benkuske]

Ok, points taken, and it already happen. But in a broad sense, texting or in person. Missing an obvious clever wit joke and getting called "slowww". Unattractive, or no big deal and just playful? Can something like that damper momentum and attraction if a girl is teetering interest wise?

 

I feel like it was just starting to spark something and then I killed it, doh. I'm generally pretty quick and witty so I'm aware of my over thinking but if someone is teetering do you think something like that has much bearing?

[Sportster2005]

It depends on how interested she is. I think women tend to give guys, and vice versa, a lot more latitude when they are really interested. So much so we can do down right stupid things and the women will just go awwww he's nervous that's cute. But if they're only mildly interested a screw up might be all they need to kick you off the list.

 

So to answer your question, maybe

[Romanticism]

Part of being effective at humor and flirtatious activities is knowing how to recover when something doesn't go so hot. You have to learn how to recover from a bad joke, or an awkward flirt.

 

Before you text or respond to a text, make sure to think of there text in there sort of mindset. Picture how they would picture it, that usually helps people catch on to the jokes much easier. Instinctively we read messages in our own way.