Relationship has changed - Updated situation from before

[Switch187]

My situation with my ex, or now g/f again, has been updated and I posted all the info at the end of this thread. Thanks again for the tips/advice, and feel free to keep them coming, since free knowledge is something I won't pass up.

 

Well I hope that I'm posting in the right forum, and I hope that I can explain the situation in a right manner.

 

Well I'll be turning 23 this weekend, and my girlfriend is 21 (turning 22 in May). We met each other 2 years ago at a Community College, and we hit it off really quick. Both of us had a crush on the other person before we even spoke to each other, and after our first date we both told each other that we really have strong feelings for one another. The relationship grew really quick, and over the next 2 years we became not only great friends, but a great couple as well. Fighting between us was small and never drastic, and usually always ended fairly quickly. We both made a promise to always tell each other exactly how we feel, and to be completely honest no matter what happens, which we have maintained throughout the past 2 years. She is a great person, and has all the qualities that every guy dreams about in a girlfriend. We both love each other to a great degree, and both know that we would never do a thing to hurt the other person.

 

For both of us this was the first long term relationship, and first relationship that love was a true feeling in everything we did. Both of us have had relationships before we met, b

ut neither of us had a relationship that lasted longer than 2 months, and neither of really felt love until we met each other.

 

Well 2 weeks ago things between us start to go downhill. She started to become a bit secluded with herself, and I found myself wondering why she didn't want me around her that much anymore. After 2 days I told her that she needed to tell me what was wrong and not keep me in the dark, especially since we told each other we wouldn't do that to one another. We sat down to talk, and she told me that she was confused about herself, and no longer felt like she "knew" who she was anymore. I didn't take it too hard becuse it was perfectly understandable. We both were really dependent on each other, and I was having some of the same feelings after she started to be seclusive. So we told each other that maybe a little "time apart" would help us both get a better understanding of ourselves and build our own independence before we take our relationship any futher. I was fine for a coupld days, then I started to get really depressed and sad about the situation, and made the mistake of calling her and telling her that we should just break up, since time apart is the same thing.

 

She called me the next day and was crying, she said that she didn't want to loose me and wanted to me to still be a part of her life, she just wanted us to slow down and get a better grip on reality. I told her it was a mistake to say what I said, and that a friendship with her would be fine. I then asked her that if time apart meant seeing other people (since I thought this is what may be confusing her, and she may want to "see what's better"). She said that she didn't have an answer for that, but she knew that she wants to be with me and no one else. She said that she isn't interested in meeting anyone else, since she needs to find happiness in herself before she can find happiness in a relationship. I said okay, and we agreed to give each other a little time away from each other, but still keep contact between us just as friends. So for the next week we spoke to each other on a casual basis (maybe once a day at the most), and we didn't schedule anytime to see each other. On a Friday she calls me and tells me that she really misses being able to see me and hang out, so I told her that we should meet at Church on Sunday, and then we could sit down and talk for an hour afterwards before she leaves for work.

 

That Sunday was great, we sat and talked about everything and anything. We told each other that we loved each other still, and that our feelings havn't changed since before the break. She said that she is still really confused about everything, and that she feels really bad that we have to separate during this time (my B-day was coming up, and it was also our 2 year anniversary on the same day). I told her that she shouldn't doubt herself and just remember that this is for the better. We both need to grow up (she needs to more than I do) and we both need to figure out what our hearts really desire. If it's with each other, then we will know in time. She cried again and said that she doesn't want to hurt me, and that she knows that we were meant to be together. We decided to meet again later on that week so we could study together. The days inbetween that meeting we talked a little bit more (we spoke to each other about 5 times in those 2 days).

 

When we met at the Library the other day, she said that she had somethings on her mind and wanted to talk. So we started talking and she said that she felt like we were leading each other into believing that our relationship was going to start again soon, when she really wasn't ready for it. I told her that I didn't want to force her back into a relationship if she wasn't willing to be in one, and that maybe we should take the friendship a bit slower. She said that's what she wanted, and that we will refrain from calling each other all week, and will talk to each other at Church this Sunday. I told her okay, we walked out to our cars and said goodbye. Before leaving though we both gave each other a hug, and just stood their in each others arms for a couple minutes. We just kept telling each other that we love each other, and that no matter what happens we will always be there for the other person. We gave each other a kiss on the cheek and said we will see each other on Sunday.

 

So I really don't have any specific questions, just wanting advice and tips on what I should do in this situation. During the past 2 weeks both of us have gone out with other people, and have made the attempt to meet new people. But we both came to the same conclusion that there is no one else out there that will make us as happy as being with each other. I know that I need to back off and give her time, but I also want to show her that I will still be here for her without being obsesive in her life. I guess I'm just really confused right now, and feeling really depressed because my B-Day is coming up and I'm feeling a bit lonely inside.

 

Thanks to anyone who reads through all of this and gives me some advice.

[Iceman26]

I think you are doing a great job with talking to her and giving her space. My hat is off to you man. I know that what is going on hurts and I also know from personal experience that girls tend to get a little weird after they turn 21.

 

I think you should talk to her on Sunday's like you guys have planned, but make sure you are keeping busy so you are not thinking about the situation to much.

 

However, it kind of sounds in this situation that she has been the one dictating when you guys will talk and its her that is having all the problems, not you. My point is that were I you, I would be there for her, but I wouldnt drop everything I was doing to listen to her. It was her decision to take the break.

 

I hope my advice helped, and I hope it all works out well for you, you seem like a good guy.

[Switch187]

Well thanks Iceman for the support and advice. As I look back at my post I realize that it looks like she is making all the decisions, but we have actually been making decisions together. Most of the things that have been decided are mutual, and based on something that both of us could agree on.

 

I've been good in keeping myself busy as well, especially since it's midterm time at school, and snowboarding season started last weekend. But what's really confusing is that even though we just agreed to not call each other during the week unless it was something really important, she calls me today to say hi. I wasn't really busy (just putting music on my MP3 player) so I answerd the phone, and she started off by telling me she misses me and wants to say hi. We talked for a few minutes (I wanted to keep it short just so we wouldn't get into a relationship talk), and even though she was hinting at wanting to see me soon, I told her that we will just see each other on Sunday, and not anytime before that so we can both have some time to think things through. It kinda sounds like she is almost ready to get back together, especially when I told her about taking our time and not rushing to see each other, since she respond with a "well who knows if we really need a lot of time apart" type of comment. I didn't say anything about it, and told her that I was going to go work on my computer and wanted to let her sit back and relax on her night off from work.

 

I'm also thinking that she may just be feeling a little guilty, or depressed, about breaking up before my B-Day (which is on Saturday), and she may just be acting a bit nicer just to show me that she is still trying to consider my feelings and keep me from being upset. I told her not to worry, and that I was just still confused since I want to be here to support her, but I don't want to impose myself back into her life until she's ready. Anyways, I guess I'll just see what happens on Sunday, and will update the situation, unless something comes up during the week and we end up having a discussion again ( I kinda feel like she's either going to call me on Friday, or Saturday to say happy B-day, and maybe ask to see me for a little bit when I get back from Snowboarding.)

 

Anyways, thanks again Iceman, and to anyone else that has some info or advice to give.

[Iceman26]

You are more than welcome Switch.

 

I am impressed by how you are dealing with this whole situation. You seem to have everything well under control. Yeah let me know how everything goes on Sunday and if you need any more advice, I will give what I can to help you. Happy Birthday in advance man.

[Switch187]

So something happened recently, and I don't know if we made things more complicated or confusing for each other. I'll just get to it, and hopefully someone can maybe shed a little light on the situation from an outside view.

 

Yesterday, my ex's mom calls me and ask's if I can help her do some stuff at her house that I told her I would do a while ago (she has been really busy, and this is the only free time she had). I wasn't busy so I said yes, and told her I would be there in a coupld hours. When I got there, my ex was gettting ready to leave for work, and we have no harsh feelings towards each other or anything like that. So we gave each other a hug, talked for a little bit while she got ready, and before she left she asked me if I would want to go out with some friends of ours tonight. I said I didn't think I had plans, so give me a call and I'll see later. I went out and did my thing that day (after finishing at her moms house) and then that night when I got home, I get a call from her saying she just got out of work and wanted to know if I still wanted to go. I said sure, got ready and me her at her house. We went out to a bar/club with one of her girlfriends and a guy that we both know (apparently her friend and that guy hooked up a few weeks ago and were in the kinda dating, having sex as friends stage). Well that night was great. We danced, had drinks, laughed, and just had a great time. After the bar closed we went back to the other guys house and chilled there for a couple hours just talking and stuff like that. Then my ex said she was getting a bit tired and that we should go back to her house (we drove her car, and my car was at her house). Her friend was supposed to come and stay at her house as well, but after a night of a few drinks she wanted to stay at the guys house and do her thing. So we left.

 

Now on the way back to her house she says we should stop somewhere and talk. So we look around and stop at a few parks, but that late at night nothing looked legit so we just went to her house and parked in the driveway to talk. We talked for a bit, and then next thing you know were kissing each other. After a few minutes we stop and she says that she doesn't want to lead me on into thinking someting different, and I told her the same but I also said that I kissed her too, it wasn't one sided. So we start kissing again, and then cloths start coming of, fingers and hands were going places, she's getting really wild (I know all her spots and she was loving it). Then she looks at me and says that she wants to have sex, but just as friends. She asked if I would do that with her being her best friend. I told her I wanted the same (hey alcohol can get anyone in the mood) and we made our way into her house. Let me say that was some of the wildest sex we have ever had. Afterwards she said that she was sorry, and when I asked why, she said that she doesn't want to hurt me or make me think that things our different because of what we did. She said she also didn't want to start using me (if she gets drunk and horny, she doesn't want me to think that sex is all she wants from me, especially since she knows she doesn't want to have sex with anyone else). I told her the same and said that I was sorry if she was going to regret this in the morning. She said she has no regrets about what we do, because we love each other. Later that night (we talked somemore about stuff like that) when I was leaving we both hugged and kissed some more, and then she looked at me and said "were just friends right" and I said "yeah, we can just be friends that have sex and stuff like that." She said that's fine, since she really doesn't want any type of commitment right now, but she knows that she wants to get back together with me when this is all thru.

 

So as I said, I don't know if we just made things more complicated. Now that I'm sober I don't have any regrets, nor do I have any problem with just being "friends with benifits" during this time. My only thing is that I hope that we didn't make things worse between us, since we really want to work things out. I havn't talked to her yet, so I don't know if she's having regrets or if she really wants what she said. We both were really happy to spend that night together, and our now talking about going out a few more times (maybe again tonight, and tomorrow night to go to a party our friends house). I know that if we both start to drink again that we may just end up back in her bedroom again (which I have no problem with) but then I don't know if it's something that we shouldn't really be doing to each other so soon. Any advice or tips are welcome, seeing as I know what it is I'm going to do, I just want to hear other peoples opinions.

[Iceman26]

Well if you dont have a problem with hanging around and being sex buddies, then there is no problem.

 

I think what you are doing is fine if you are both comfortable with it.

 

I have a question for you.........when you guys were together, was she ever going out on the town with her friends? If so, was she going out more with her friends towards the break?And lastly, is she going out with her friends a lot more now?

[Switch187]

Well Iceman once again thanks for the tips/advice. Yeah we both are comfertable with just being "friends with benifits" and are just take things from there. Lets see if I can answer your questions in order:

 

1. When we were together, going out with friends was something that happened once every blue moon, for both of us. We both became really secluded with each other, and kinda stopped going out with our friends, as a couple and by ourselves. The only times that we would do that type of stuff was if the other person was out of town, or going to be gone for a few days.

 

2. Towards the break (like maybe a few days before it happened) she started to hang out with some "new" friends (people she met at work) a couple times. But we would still get together and hang out as well. She stopped hanging with them after we broke up because she said they were all really "fake" towards her.

 

3. Yes, after we broke up she was going out a lot more. Right after we broke up she went out like 4 nights in a row, with her close friend to go to partys and clubs and stuff like that. But then she also started to break away from that too, and last night when all of us went out she said that it was so much nicer to be going out with me, and to hang out with me again.

 

So we talked a little while ago, and I had also asked her about the whole going out and partying thing. I just was worried about her, since she is a "light weight" when it comes to drinking, and being a guy I know how some would try to take "advantage" of the situation for themselves. But she told me that those few nights that she went out with her friend (which she never drank as much as last night), she never let another guy touch her. She said that guys would try to come up and dance with her, or offer her drinks and she woul just reject them. Thats when she told me that all she really wants is for us to be "together" (like "in the closet" dating) but to have some breather space to be able to hang out with our friends as well. Also the thing that really drove us apart was how we really shelterd ourselves from going out and doing things like we did last night (were both in our 20's and the last time we went out to a club was over a year ago). So were kinda starting over, if that makes sense. Were not wiping away the 2 years that we had together, but we are kinda starting over with the whole dating and going out, then after we feel more comfertable with each other, we wil then get into a relationship again (which would be stronger than the one before). So it's nice to know that she isn't looking for someone else, and she also knows that I'm not looking for someone else, and we both want to get back together, but we both also want to wait until we are both ready for a stronger, more lasting relationship.

[Iceman26]

This is an extremely confusing situation you have going on here, and I feel like a lot of games are being played on her part and I feel you aren't really seeing them.

 

What I dont understand is that all these problems you guys are having could have been sorted out through the relationship.

 

1) You guys could have agreed to go out more instead of falling into the routine of doing nothing that most people fall into while dating.

 

2) You seem like a pretty understanding guy, and I am sure you would have been fine with her going out with her friends and giving her the space that she feels she needed. Dont you find it ironic that as soon as she started hanging out with her new "friends" that she stopped seeing you exclusively?

 

3) Girls know when they go out what the consequences of their actions might be.

 

I feel that there is something more going on here. All these problems could have been worked through together.

 

One of my guesses (and my strongest guess) is that I think you may be her fall back guy in case meeting someone else doesnt work out. I hate to be blunt dude, but this situation isn't really making a lot of sense to me. For all you know, everything she is saying could be that she knows what you want to hear. Remember that she made sure that you knew you guys were "just friends".

 

I guess keep doing what you are doing man if this is what you want, but just to be safe if you guys get freaky deaky, I might double bag the groceries just to be on the safe side. You can never be too cautious when it comes to your own safety and well being you know?

 

I hope it all works out man, It seems you care for this girl a great deal.....just be careful and pay attention to the warning signs. Relationships are made stronger through communication, patience, understanding, and compromise not through breaking up.

[Switch187]

No your right Iceman, there was a lot of headgames going on, and I confronted her on that actually a few days ago. I pretty much just laid it out and told her that I don't like that sh!! and I don't like to be played. She was quick to apolagize and asked for forgiveness quite a few times. I know that she was sincere when she apolagized and asked for forgiveness, so I told her it's fine now since it's done with and in the past.

 

I agree, all of this could have been handled throughout the relationship, but neither of us really took the time to try to fix things. We were both so stuck and dependent on the other person, that fixing problems all of a sudden became the last thing on our minds. Also when we talked today she said that things may have been a bit different if we both took different actions (she should have been upfront with me as soon as she felt these issues were becoming a problem, and I shouldn't have forced her to make a choice that she wasn't ready to make). But what happened, happened, and maybe things needed to happen that way just for us to get to where we are now.

 

So we sat down and had a nice long talk today. I went to her house to finish some work that I was doing yesterday, and she ended up sitting and talking with me the whole time. We also ate dinner together and sat and watched a movie, as well as continuing the conversation the whole time. My stongest guess was that I was a fall back guy as well, and she put that to rest. I had asked her that with our new "friendship" we established, then what type of position is this in her life. She said that she just wants things between us to be more casual (not having to hang out everynight together, but still going out and having fun with each other as well). She then said that she never wanted to just "break up", but she just wanted us to get some breathing space, plus she wanted to "grow" (she has always been the "baby" of her family her whole life, and she was really fed up with that). I then asked her about her position on meeting new people, and potentially dating other people. She said that she's not interested in meeting anyone new, and that she never was. She said that she want's us to be together, and that she wants our relationship to work. But she wants us to take things slow, and not rush back into anything just yet. But she also said that if we end up just staying friends, and that this goes on for more than a few months (no set time period, but really distant in time) then maybe we should consider to start to see new people. She said that the only reason that would happen is that if during this time of "starting new" we end up not moving forward together, and just end up being content where we are at. I said that's understandable (I'm not going to wait years for her to realize she wants to be with me) and I also agree with that, but if it came to that then we would have to push the friendship we have a few steps back (I mean it's not fair if we are seeing other people, but still meeting up to have casual sex, or just sit down and make out). So as I said, we are kinda "together", but we are still "separated" and both of us really want to make things between us work, but we both want to work on our lives as well. It's crap like this that make everyone around us so confused, yet we both are in a understanding state, and know what we want (which is each other) and know what it's going to take (time, patience, and work). We both love each other dearly, and she kept saying today that she felt so bad that things had to come to this, but it has made us both really appreciate the each other, and appreciate how much we mean to each others life. So yeah I got to be careful and watch out for some things, but I know that she is what I want, so I'm going to take this step (or risk in some views) and see what happens.

 

And I really agree with what you said about how a relationship is made stronger (communication, understanding, patience, and compromise) and we are on that level now (even though we had to break up to get there). Our communication now is better than before (and we would communicate a lot), we understand each other more, and what each other wants more now, we both need (and our willing) to have patience with each other (and ourselves) which we have now, and lastly we both have been compromising each and every thing about this "break" and friendship (even though it had looked like she dictated things, everything has been mutual and made by compromising what we both want). But thank you again Iceman, your advice is very informative and I really appreciate it. I really feel more comfertable now (after me and her talked today) than I did about before about our situation. Things just make sense to both of us, and we both are now ready to start working out our relationship and making it stronger.

[Iceman26]

Glad to hear it Switch, good luck to you both!

[Switch187]

Okay I need some help again. Me and her decided to still give each other some space, since it was just making things really hard on both of us to keep making contact so often. After Church on Sunday, we both agreed to not call each other for the rest of the week, and to see how things go. She called me the next day, to give me the number of one of our friends that wants to go snowboarding with me, and then we eneded the call there. But yesterday I kinda broke down and made the attempt to call her (I really wanted to know if she got her period yet, since she was almost a month late), but she was at work and her mom told me to call her, but I told her mom that I would just wait until tomorrow. Her mom said, yeah just call her tomorrow. So today came and I call her house, and her mom says that she had just left for school, since she needed to study for a test. I said okay, and me and her mom talked for a bit. She was just saying nice things and stuff like we will get back together and so on. And then she asked me if I wanted her to tell my ex that I called, and I said yeah go ahead. Then she told me that she didn't think she would call me back, since she told her that she made a promise to herself to not contact me until Sunday. I said okay then I will just wait until Sunday. Her mom then kept trying to tell me that I should just call her, since she knows that she wants to talk to me and wants to work on our friendship/relationship. I said I would think about it, but theres where my dilema comes in. If she made a promise to herself to not contact me, doesn't that mean she really doesn't want me to contact her? Should I just wait until Sunday to find out if she had her period, or is that a reasonable cause for me to try and make contact with her? I'm at the stage right now where I'm over the feelings I had for her (I don't cry, or even really care anymore about what happened and when I think about me and her). I do want to maintain a friendship though, since I know that I can handle it and can handle the possibility of her being with someone else (I don't know if she could handle me being with someone else, but that's for a later time). So yeah if anyone can give me a tip on what to do, whether I should just wait it out or not (the only reason why I want to contact her about it, is because I know that she won't do a test or anything on her own unless I'm there, since we've gone through this before). Thanks to anyone who helps.

[Iceman26]

Hey Switch,

 

I would wait it out if I were you man. There is too much confusion going on in her part for you to pursue her like you have been. I know you really care for her, but back off of it.

 

I say wait until Sunday. She knows you called, and hasnt made the effort to get back in touch with you. It sounds like you are going in circles here.....things are going fine, you guys are together again, etc, then she gets weird and wants space. I think its time you made a stand and don't call her.

 

And a last little tidbit of advice: Don't talk to her mom about your relationship. Period. Keep whatever difficulties you have with your girlfriend between the two of you. She is obviously close with her mother, which means anything you tell her mom will be repeated to your girlfriend.

 

Why do you keep agreeing to giving her space when thats not what you want for yourself?

[Switch187]

Thanks Iceman, and that's what I figured I would do anyways after I made the post. I will just wait until Sunday. The only reason I talked to her mom about things, was because her mom initiated the conversation, and I didn't want to be rude and just cut her off. When her mom said that she made that promise to not contact me I realized that she just want to get over her feelings and be at the level I'm at right now, being able to know that their is a life without each other.

 

The only reason why I agreed to the space is because even though we tell each other we need space, we (she says this more to me) say that if we really need to talk or say something then we shouldn't hesitate to make contact. That's why when I started to get concened about her maybe being pregnant I wanted to get ahold of her, but as I said before she may just want no contact at all just to clear her head. Plus she's all stressed out with her midterm and stuff. Anyways, thanks again Iceman, you've helped me out a lot during this time and I will just wait things out and see her on Sunday at Church.

[Switch187]

Okay Iceman (or anyone else who wants to comment) I have a bit of an update that may add some more confusion or complication to the situation. So like I said, I was just going to wait until Sunday, so instead of calling her I went to class a bit early and just sat in the empty room listening to my headphones. Then it happens. She calls me. But I didn't know it was her because she was using someone else's cell phone (her dad's since her's is broken) so I answered the call. She had told me that she didn't have her period yet, then asked me when I called her. I told her that I called the previous night to leave the message, then called today just because I didn't think she got the message (her cell phone is broken, and when I called it sent me to some weird answering service which has never happened before). I told her that I was surprised since when I called today her mom told me about her promise to not contact me, which she said that she was sorry that she broke that promise but she could tell I was concerned about this issue. I told her there is no need to be sorry, since this is a important issue (possible pregnancy is pretty important) and she said okay. After that I asked her if she wanted to take a test again, and she said the only free time she had was on Friday afternoon, a little bit before I got out of class. When I asked her about taking it then, she quickly changed the subject to taking it later next week ( I think either she doesn't want to see me until Sunday like we said, or she may have a date or something that she doesn't want me to be around for, either way I don't really care). She said that she had Saturday off, but was going to go do stuff, and I told her I was snowboarding anyways so I wouldn't go that day anyways. So we just said that we will talk about it Sunday, and make a day next week to take another test or go see a doctor to be certain.

 

Also during the conversation I had asked her how she was doing, just a general question relating to work and school. She said she was doing okay and that she had a test today. When she asked me how I was doing I told her I was doing great. She kinda hinted that she wanted to know why, and I told her that I had been working out more lately, lost about 8 pounds, and my prayers have had more meaning and more depth to them lately. I pretty much told her that I was feeling really good inside and out. After I finished she then said that she really wasn't doing that well, and that she was tired and feeling a bit down, and didn't really mean it when she said she was doing okay. I don't know if she was upset that I was doing better than her (since she dumped me) or if just hearing me say how well I was doing made her a bit uneasy. I just said to keep her head up, and keep living one day at a time. We then ended the conversation there with a goodbye, talk to you when I talk to you, have fun until I see you, and we will talk more on Sunday. So yeah, I don't really know if what happened made a difference in the situation, but she did contact me back and made an effort to have a conversation with me.

[Iceman26]

Cool, she contacted you. Keep it that way Switch. Make her contact you, keep yourself busy like you have been.

 

If you keep playing the hard to get role, she will come after you. And after all the time off she is needed, I am sure it will feel good to you to have her come after you as well, you know?

 

Out of curiosity, how late is her monthly bill?

[Switch187]

The bill is about a month late, since she was already a few days late when we broke up, and it's been close to a month since then.

[Iceman26]

That sucks dude. Well hopefully you will be able to talk with her on Sunday and find out what the next step with that is as well.

 

I have known some girls where their period was delayed because of stress, but I dont know how long it was delayed.

[Switch187]

Yeah I told her the same about talking more about it Sunday. We both have mentioned that we would want to do the right thing and have this child together (if she is pregnant), but I told her yesterday that I don't want to just get back together because of a child, since it's not fair to either of us and the child. I know that her stress is playing a big part in the delay, but it has never been delayed this long before (then again she hasn't had this much stress in her life since breaking up is pretty stressfull).

[Iceman26]

Well the only thing you can do is cross your finger, hope for the best, and wait until Sunday I guess. Let me know how it goes.

[Switch187]

So here's a bit of an update, just to let people know that things can work out. So as I said before, the last time my ex and I spoke was yesterday, and the conversation was short but civil. Today I started cleaning my closet (no apparent reason, just started doing it) and I found a large box of toys that I no longer had a need for. I knew that these toys could be put to a better use with less fortunate childeren, so I bagged them up to take to my Church. Before leaving though, I had remembered that my ex's mom was sending toys and gifts to a poor family in Mexico, so I called her and asked her if she wanted my bag as well. After I talked to her mom, my ex calls me and we got into a bit of an argument (it was mostly minor things, but she was really upset on the phone). We talked for a bit, and things kinda worked out, she wasn't angry towards the end of the call, and mentioned that she got off work in the afternoon, and for us to talk then. So I did my thing during the day, and then I called her house later that afternoon (about an hour after she told me she would be home) but got no answer. I went out, and came back to find a message from her saying she was naping, and wanted to return my call. When I called her I told her that I felt like we really needed to talk, and I wanted to do it in person. She said that she wanted to see me as well, so we made plans to go get a cup of coffee, sit by the waterfront and talk. I came to find out later that evening that she had prayed to God about if I really wanted to be with her still, then I would want to see her tonight, which I did.

 

So we talked for a bit, and during that conversation she let me know that her feelings for me never "faded" away during this time apart, and they are stronger now than before. She said that she had went on a dinner/movie date with some guy, to see if she was certain that her feelings for me were true, and that the whole time she was eating dinner with him, she just kept thinking how she would be having more fun if I was there (she even said she was hoping that I would just pop in there unexpected and notice her and come talk to her). She even said that her interest in the guy was so insignificant that she got to the point where she told him that he would be perfect for her younger sister. Me and her laughed after she said that, and she said that she pretty much killed the guys hopes of dating her, since she knew that I was the person she wanted to be with. I then told her about a few of the girls I met during this time (by the way nothing physical or anything happened on either side, not even holding a hand), but I had felt the same way, none of them interested me and all they did was make me realize how much I really want our relationship more than that. So then after our cup of coffee we decided to go have some fun, and went clubbing until 2 am, in which we both had a blast. While we were eating some food before the club opened, she looked at me and told me that she wasn't confused anymore, and she was sure that I'm the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with, and the leaned over and gave me a kiss.

 

Now although this all sounds great, and I'm feeling really good right now, we both still need some time to ourselves just to get our lives in order. But we have moved back into a relationship with each other, and are going to keep things casual while we both spend some time working on our own issues (I'm busy with school, she's busy with work, plus she still wants to "establish" herself as a woman to her family and co-workers). All in all though I just wanted to say that if the love is there, and the love is true, then things will work out for the better if you just keep your cool, listen to Iceman, and don't push things too hard. And for Iceman, were going to go and take a test tomorrow, since we really didn't think about it tonight, and I'll post the update on that (she was a bit worried since she said her appetite has gone up the past week, and she finds herself always being hungry).