deadtotheworld Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 My name is josh... I have been battling depression since I was 15... im 27 now... well I haven't really thought alot lately about much else than suicide... im a divorced/engaged soldier who up and decided I just couldn't do it anymore... im a weak person and have had nothing but problems since I joined... I have been blown up and since then my medical problems just kept rolling downhill... I have shattered my arm had two inguinal hernias a tumor in my foot my knees dont want to work and im constantly in pain... enough of the physical how about the mental... I was married for four years and was happy until I found out she cheated and since I had no proof I just lived with it. I have two little girls who have watched their mom beat daddy up on multiple occasions and watched me carry mommy up three flights of stairs drunk off her ass... now I've been in germany for two years and found a woman who I loved more than anything... well she has cheated and lied and put her hands on me as well but I've done some messed up thingsto her as well. She is a partied and likes to "go out" but gets text messages from random guys telling her they love her and all sorts of things... the very best part is she always has a stupid excuse... now let me explain she has a daughter and I love her deeply and left the army to stay home and help be with her because her mom has no one else ro watch her while she works... yes I just up and left... now I cannot leave the house for fear of getting picked up and failing my fiancé... but instead of understanding she started going out more and sometimes not coming home till 0900 or 1100 in the morning... now I have given up everything for this woman and I get nothing in return... im tired and broken down... im in so much pain physically and mentally that I just want it to be over please only SERIOUSE replys... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Hi Josh, You have been through so much. It is so much for you to process and it is no wonder that you are overwhelmed. Is there anyway you can go to a mental health professional that deals with trauma and domestic abuse situations? If you get to process some of these things in your mind it might help. Link to comment
deadtotheworld Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Hi Josh, You have been through so much. It is so much for you to process and it is no wonder that you are overwhelmed. Is there anyway you can go to a mental health professional that deals with trauma and domestic abuse situations? If you get to process some of these things in your mind it might help. Problem is that I am awol from the army... and if I went back they wouldn't just send me to see someone they would take it too far and put me in this place called 9 charlie and its like jail... ir getting admitted... thank you for your post... if I go back my fiancé will have no one to watch her child while she is at work... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Well her child is her problem. You should not be abused for any reason Josh. Link to comment
deadtotheworld Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Well her child is her problem. You should not be abused for any reason Josh. she only did once and it was because I was talking to my ex so I understand her frustration... its been almost a year since this happened... but I still feel she is having an affair... so, I guess since I quite litterally gave up my life for her I feel that she should be more understanding and try a little more...concideeing she and her daughter are all I have left I feel like when she dissapears all night its like slapping me in the face... bassically telling me she doesn't care that I gave up my freedom so she can have hers... but in the end itvwas my choice and I guess im having a hard time coping with it... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 So why not seek out some one to help you through that ? Link to comment
deadtotheworld Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 So why not seek out some one to help you through that ? If I do I may get sent back and I would rather die than go back... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 If I do I may get sent back and I would rather die than go back... You can take control of your life. But you have to get away from those people who abuse you and use you. That only serves to keep you down. Really. Link to comment
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