I've been dating a married man for over 7 years.

[twin06062]

This is my first time posting here, I need help. Please do not judge me, I have no where else to go. I am a single professional female. I have been dating a married man for over 7 years. I met him when they were dating, found out they married about 2 years into it. When I found out he was married I was furious. I called his house, but didn't speak to her long enough to tell her who I was. After that, we didn't speak or see each other again for a year. We eventually got back together, and here I am. She had a baby a couple of months ago and I he has brought the baby to my house. Even had sex with him there in the same room. It's an obsession more than anything. We had a fight recently and I need the strength to move on and not see him anymore. Someone give me guidance with no judgement. I will answer any and all questions. Thank you all !!

[DBL]

Go to counseling or join a support group.

[Day_Walker]

What you need to realize is that you have to strength to leave this situation. You are going to have days were you want to go back but you have to believe in your mind that you deserve better than he has to offer. You need to do what it takes in order to get over this guy. It wouldnt be healthy to jump into a relationship but you need to figure out the best way for you to get over this guy and move on with your life. The key is to be strong and realize that you mind is stronger than your emotions. You realize that this is a situation you need to get out of and now all you need to do is the hard part and do it. One of the best ways is to cut off contact, do what it takes to keep him out of ur life.

[cassiana]

A balanced relationship should satisfy both parties. Here he gets to have everything his own way. He has a life with his wife and child and then you on the side. He also gets to visit your house. What a good existence he has.

His wife is a victim because she believes her husband loves her and has made a commitment to start a family with him. If she ever finds out she will be destroyed. This doesn't bother her husband. All he cares about is his gratification.

If a child discovers what their parent has been doing it can make them very insecure and make them very untrusting in relationships.

And then there's you. If he dumped you tomorrow you would have nothing. If he dumps you ten years from now you will have less. At least his wife would have her child and lots of sympathy. He will never leave her. He could very easily dump you, especially when children take up more of his time. You will be heartbroken and no-one will sympathise with you. He lied to you for two years.

Only low self-esteem on your part can possibly make you think that this liar and cheat is worth the sacrifice. Get out now. Do it for yourself. This time next year you could be in love with a man who appreciates you.

[Mun]

Hi there,

I understand your frustration and your pain. Seven years is a long time to be committed to someone who is committed somewhere else.

 

I think you know that you should have walked away as soon as you found out that he had married someone else. Well girl, it is never too late.

 

Today you can decide that you will no longer survive on the left-overs of his life. Today you can forgive yourself for having held on because your pride was hurt.

 

And once you resolve to move forward you should not allow yourself to call him or look for him ever again.

 

It's not going to be easy for you, but you can do it. We will be here for you if you need the extra push...

 

good luck 8)

[tiger_lilies]

Self discipline, self control, and pride are three helpful words to get yourself to move on!!!

No contact is the only way. You deserve better! I agree with the other posters...you are in pain now, don't you want it to stop? Don't you want to be respected in a relationship?

[twin06062]

been dating a married man for over 7 years and I am tempted to call his wife. I am tired of this liar and cheat !! What should I do ? Help...

[Mun]

Girl, hold on to your bearings. If you call his wife you will be stooping to some very low levels.

 

Maintain your dignity and try your best to walk away from him. He is the one who has done wrong here. She ows you nothing and you will only hurt her by doing this. If she forgives him, what will you have gained?

 

Please try to get control of yourself. I know you are hurting but this is not a solution

[twin06062]

I am taking one day at a time right now. I hate that everytime the phone rings, I wonder if it is him. Don't know what the hell is worse !! I shut my cell phone off just so I don't know if he has called or not.