Finally Stopped Being Used: New to Enotalone Please Help

[giggidy]

This is a bit of a weird situation, but some of it may be of use to someone. For the record, NC works but only if you really want them back. I thought I wanted my ex of 2.5 years back when I went NC for 3 years. In that time she dated other people and realized I was the one for her. Right before I left for California she called me crying asking for things to work out. My first mistake was that I took her back at the drop of a hat.

 

The second mistake was agreeing to keep things up in the air while we were apart. This meant listening to her problems, waiting for her to call, and getting in arguments as if we were in a relationship without the actual perk of a commitment. On Valentine's Day, we had a disagreement about something that ticked her off. Apparently I didn't own up to the things I did. I was upset at how aggressive she became when she tried to make her point. Anyway, we sorta resolved it.

 

She called me at 3:00 in the morning drunk last night "just to talk". It was really just to talk, and she went on about her fun escapades at a dance club. Eventually, I just flat out asked her about her expectations for our situation. She said that my maturity level was not at the point where she could date me. That was the last straw for me. I told her very politely that I needed to move on without her. That night I deleted her off of Facebook, deleted all of her pictures on my computer, and the next day I called and left a message saying that I was sorry about the way I acted (trying to "own up" as much as I could), but I needed time to be by myself and that required being without contact. I also texted her saying the same thing.

 

She called me back, and was giggly about me friend zoning her until I told her that I really needed to be alone and out of contact with her. I said it really politely too. She became LIVID. She called me a flip-flopper and fickle and said she never wanted to hear from me again.

 

I know this is it for us talking and it is bitter sweet. I just don't know how I became a doormat to somebody who wanted me back in the first place. She used me as a sounding board for her problems and she didn't care how I felt about the whole thing. Oh yeah, and the first time she broke up with me was the day before Valentines Day. I didn't get a single call or text from her this Valentine's Day either.

 

I am just in need of some encouragement right now.. I just want to know that I did the right thing.

[pippy longstocking]

For the record, NC works but only if you really want them back.

 

 

this is a very dangerous statement to make on here ....

[giggidy]

BTW, I am 24, and she is 23.

[Debbie27]

You did the right thing may not feel like you have but in time you ll look back on this as a turning point. Next person you meet will be much better I'm sure x

[Debbie27]

Age doesn't matter just a number it's the person x

[giggidy]

Thanks Shooting Star, I should be careful about saying that. Debbie27, thanks for the encouragement. I can't help but feel like I am taking the coward's way out . Does that sound weird?

[Debbie27]

No it doesn't its normal to question yourself stay strong you deserve better x

[Debbie27]

What is a dangerous statement don't understand

[LikeWater]

What is a dangerous statement don't understand

 

Star is just saying that a statement like that could get a lot of people's hopes up, when the reality is that a lot of the time it doesn't matter what you do or don't do, your ex just ain't coming back.

[pippy longstocking]

sorry ...

 

 

I started the post then my phone rang .... I didnt mean to just leave it at that

 

thankyou like water ...that is what I meant

[DN]

Almost every time someone in a relationship accuses their partner or ex of being immature it merely demonstrates their own lack of maturity.