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First Date in a LONG TIME. Need advice! NERVOUS

blgmike2

By blgmike2
in Dating Advice

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blgmike2 Enthusiast

blgmike2

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Whats up ENA board, long time since I have been on this.

 

I met a girl online and I have my first date with her this Saturday. We've been texting and phoning for about a week now. We are friends on Facebook and Twitter now. She is really into me and I am really into her. This Saturday will be our first time physically meeting.

 

I have not been on an ACTUAL first date since I broke up with my ex in 2010 and I have yet to feel like this for another girl since my ex so I am excited but nervous at the same time.

 

Any advice? Any do's and don'ts? I am confident in my game but like I said its been such a long time and I don't wanna mess this up because I really like her so far!

 

Thanks guys. Good to be back happy and fully recovered from my ex.

 

**DISCLAIMER: I am not getting "catfished". She is who she says she is, trust me.**

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blgmike2 Enthusiast

blgmike2

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just be yourself. it sounds like you had a bad break up, take things slowly.

 

Certainly did. "Bad" is an understatement. My concern is ill fall to easy and jump into a relationship so quick and possibly even scare her off.

 

So my question to that is, how do I take it slowly with also keeping her coming back for more?

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BadAdvice Newbie

BadAdvice

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Just be yourself, she already likes you. The nervousness will probably go away right after you meet her. I'm sure she is nervous too, keep that in mind.

Be kind to the waiter(ess) that goes a long way with women.

 

My best dates were with men who I could tell weren't trying too hard.

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bubble16 Contributor

bubble16

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Certainly did. "Bad" is an understatement. My concern is ill fall to easy and jump into a relationship so quick and possibly even scare her off.

 

So my question to that is, how do I take it slowly with also keeping her coming back for more?

 

i think it's easier because you already know she likes you with all the texting and phoning, so it's not entirely blind. be interested in what she's saying, touch her in a friendly way. personally i don't like kissing on the first date but see how it goes, if she kisses you great!

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oldenoughtoknow Apprentice

oldenoughtoknow

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Certainly did. "Bad" is an understatement. My concern is ill fall to easy and jump into a relationship so quick and possibly even scare her off.

 

So my question to that is, how do I take it slowly with also keeping her coming back for more?

 

You see, you're over thinking this. You're already thinking about possible honeymoon locations and you haven't been on your first date yet.

 

You need to find a way to relax. A glass of wine always helped me. And keep this in the back of your mind - if she's really as into you as you think, you're going to have to screw up the first date pretty bad to push her away. Will that thought help you to relax and just be yourself?

 

It sounds like you're golden, buddy. Enjoy!

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Throwaway999 Contributor

Throwaway999

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Okay, first of all, the people saying "just be yourself" aren't helping - if you were going to just be yourself, from your posts, you'd be a nervous wreck. Don't be yourself, be a VERSION of yourself who is NOT a nervous wreck! Also, like oldenoughtoknow said, you sound like you are already picking out honeymoon locations. You haven't even actually met this girl, keep your expectations low. Maybe she has terrible breath or snorts when she laughs or something else that is going to be a complete turnoff!

 

Some practical advice:

 

Keep things light. Avoid talk about boring, standard topics about school, family, especially work, this isn't a job interview and you aren't interviewing her, either (unless your work is something amazingly cool and fascinating, then you can talk about it - but if you are like most people, it probably isn't). And of course don't talk about your breakup or your previous relationships. They'll be plenty of time for all that stuff later.

 

Just keep things light and playful. Observe the people around you and make fun of them, then you won't have to be worrying about what subject to bring up. Nothing mean-spirited, but if there are some potential Jersey Shore extras in the crowd, bust on them to her and be all "Get a load of this guy!" Or talk about movies, pop culture stuff, who her favorite character on Breaking Bad is, whatever, as long as it isn't you droning on and on about what you do at work and how your boss is on you about your TPS reports. Most people talk about themselves too much, so better that you get HER to open up about HERSELF so that you can find out more about her and see if you DO actually like her. The less you say, and the more outwardly focused you keep yourself, the less chance you have to get nervous or worry about saying something stupid. Keep your own answers short and ask her about how she FEELS about things, rather than keeping everything dry and factual like guys tend to do when they discuss a topic.

 

Hopefully you have a sense of humor, so use it! Just don't try to be "on" all the time. If there is a lull in the conversation, take a minute to look into her eyes and say something like "I like that we don't have to blather on about nothing the whole time! It's like we already have this deep connection!"

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