How do you get the truth out of someone?

[ShatteredHalo]

Hey everyone,

 

I have been very confused with my friends lately. I am told that they have a problem with me, but none of them are coming forward.

My girlfriend knows what is going on, but she won't tell me in fear of being on the bad sides of our friends. She figures it is up to them to tell me what their problem is. I want this to be resolved as quickly as possible because it is eating at me on a daily basis.

 

So my question to you people lies in the subject of my problem.

How do you get the truth out of someone? Do any of you know any proven methods of detecting a liar? Any sites, tricks and advice would be greatly appreciated. I need to know what is going on here, people. I'm even having trouble reading the truth in my girlfriend from time to time.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[dreamweaverdude]

Halo,

 

Don't dispair. Alot of us have trouble reading when someone lies. People, exspecially some, are damn good at it. BUt there are tons of websites on what to look for.

 

But to be honest, to GET the truth out of someone, they got to want to tell it. YOu may have to twist their arm someway to intice there reason to tell, but y eah they gotta want to

[ShatteredHalo]

Yeah, I am aware that someone has to want to tell the truth in order for it to come out, but there are signs that you can look for in someone when they are lying. Some signs I hear are nearly impossible to hide when someone is telling a lie. I just want to know how to tell when a lie is being told so that I can atleast have something to work with. I want to know what to look for.

It would be a great relief if I could atleast take that step for now.

If anyone else can help me out, I'd value your time.

[mahlina]

Hi ShatteredHalo,

 

I just wanted to say, whatever you do, trust your instincts. If something is clearly telling you that something's wrong, then listen to yourself. I used to be like you, always wanting to find ways to justify that my feelings that something that was wrong, was all about me being overly analytical/worrying too much. Well you know what? If you sense that something's a lie, then it probably is. Of course you can't outright say that the other person's lying, right? Instead, you have to truly just TRUST yourself.

 

I was in a similar situation. I swore to death that I thought that one of my ex's lied to me. (He kept on denying it). Turns out, towards the end of the relationship, I found out that I was right. He straight face lied to me. Now that I have evidence, he feels like a coward. But no matter what, he always stood his ground, saying that he was falsely accused. And, you know what liars also do (this is a tip that he told me once before): When you lie, always make sure that whenever the other person accuses you, make sure to tell them that they're wrong. Gosh that is SICK! But yes, that's what people will do when it comes to lies. That's why, I'd rather be politely blunt about things, rather than lying. I don't know how some people can live with themselves!

 

Anyway, so take it from me, learn to trust your hunch about this. If the lie isn't a big deal, then tell her, "It's not a big deal, but I just want you to be honest with me." Besides, she is your girlfriend. If she cared for you, then she should be able to confide in you, and should be able to support you by being honest to you too.