Gay guy wants to make out with me...(a girl)?

[San123]

Ok, lol I decided to get you guys opinion on this... One of my best friends, we went to high school together and now college, is gay. I was one of the first people he told when he came out about 4 years ago. Anyways, when we go to a party and he gets drunk he always asks me to make out with him... not jokingly, he comes close to begging! lol, I tell him that he is gay and he's like "I know but it will be fun, please?" This goes on for a while which I would never do it anyways because I have a boyfriend... But I guess I just don't get why he wants to? When I tell my b/f about it he gets really upset... but my friend is really open w/ me and I know he is DEFINITELY gay (tells me about him and his boyfriends, in detail, lol)... but does anyone know why he would do this?? It happens quite often, and I don't get it!

[shorty4ever15]

That's a new one. I've heard of straight guys acting gay when they are drunk but never the other way around. I'm sorry I really can't give any advice here. For all anybody knows, maybe those feelings he gets when he is drunk are the same feelings that a straight person gets from time to time....what if?

[tea]

most gay friends I know think making out with girls is out right disgusting...

 

... so I don't know either.

[ForAnother]

Perhaps he had tricked himself into being straight when he was younger. and there is still a part of him that enjoys making out with girls... just not as emotionally as he would with a man.

 

ForAnother

[Cadence308]

I don't know, either. From what I know about lesbians, I'm sure they could also apply to being gay. Some lesbians remain celibate throughout their lives never sleeping with anyone, some lesbians only have sex with women, and some lesbians have intimate relationships with women, but will have sex with both men and women.

 

So, that being said...Some gays could choose to remain celibate (highly unlikely), some gays could have sex only with men, and then others could choose men as intimate partners, but enjoy sex with both men and women.

 

Maybe your gay friend has never made out with a girl and wants to know what it's like?

 

Also, sexuality occurs on a continuum. Attraction is different for everyone. Maybe your gay friend is not generally attracted to women, but he feels close with you and is attracted to you so when he gets drunk he probably gets horny and is acting on those fantasies.

 

You should just ask him some time since you two are good friends.

[Slagar]

It's probably because he is a little confused, and may have some straight feelings as well. These would be more likely to come out without him meaning to while he's drunk. It sounds like he is definitely gay, but he could still occasionally have feelings for girls too.

 

But I don't know the guy, maybe he really is just meaning to be playful, and wants to have a little fun with you

Perhaps you should try talking to him about it; maybe he'll be able to elaborate on what's going on in his head.

 

Good luck

[Meow18]

Well, I wouldn't blame your boyfriend for getting jealous. Gay or not, this guy is still another guy. I don't think you would like it if a lesbian kept trying to make out with your boyfriend.

 

Him being gay obviosuly doesn't stop him from wanting to make out with you. I mean, girls will sometimes make out with other girls, just to experiment, or just to make out with someone, not because they are a lesbian. It seems like he just wants to make out, it doesn't matter if he's sexually attracted to you. People do that all the time. They make out with anyone just for fun. Its not that weird these days.

 

You need to talk to this guy. Tell him that you like having him as a friend, but he needs to respect the fact that you have a boyfriend. He needs to stop asking you to make out with him. If he can't respect the fact that you have a boyfriend and don't want to make out with him, then he really doesn't respect you. If he's really as good of a friend as you say he is, then he should understand. Just talk to him about it.

[Eh Im Canadian]

Maybe he's bisexual? Or perhaps, he just really likes you. Every other possibility I can think of has already been said.

[San123]

Yeah I do ask him, and all he says is, "I just think it will be fun!" but that's the only reason he gives me. My b/f gets thinks he may be bi or something but I dont really think so... He has said to me once before that he thinks he will have sex with a girl at least once in his life, and casually asked if I ever would be that girl, but then other times he talks about how gross girls are "down there" and stuff... lol, I dont know

[San123]

oh and I definitely don't blame my b/f for getting mad at all... I know if some lesbian wanted to make out with him, I would be really mad too!!!

[Eh Im Canadian]

Well, as you have most likely determined by now, this "gay" guy likes you. I'm not sure what else to say. What happens next is for you to determine.

[Meow18]

She didn't say that he likes her. She just said that he tries to make out with her. Thats not so crazy. Some people will make out with anyone at a party, or when they are drunk.

 

Basically if you want it to stop, you just have to talk to him about it and let him know that you don't want him doing it. He should understand and respect what you want.

[Eh Im Canadian]

Well, if you are friends with someone, and constantly hint at how you want to kiss them, it is usually a pretty good sign that he likes her. He is a person who is defying his every belief because he thinks she is beautiful. Under normal circumstances I would agree with you maggie, but this situation is slightly different.

[drahcir]

"most gay friends I know think making out with girls is out right disgusting..."

 

---ya thats right. If you are gay, why would you want to make out with girls? Thats like a straight guy wanting to make out with another guy. ANyway, you should tell him to stop harassing you. If he doesn't stop, tell him he won't be your friend anymore.

[swordman]

First of all, I have to tell you that I am gay who, once in this life time, wants to make out with my girl friend. Ga, you must be very attractive;otherwise real gay guy (I hope he is) doesn't think that way towards you. In my situation, I was attracted to her and wanted to have sexperience with a girl. And we havd chances to do so. Thanks to my moral side, I didn't do it. I think she is more than just someone I want to just have sex with. I respect her as a person and our friendship more than anything else. We still are very close friend of each other. I can't imagine what would it be if she and I had done that. We probably were no longer friend and would regret for doing that. Or if we are, it will be too ackward to see her with her boyfriend. And I am pretty sure she would feel the same way when she sees me with my boyfriend.

I think you should seriously talk (confront) with him about what bothers you now. You might have to be a little harsh on him--it is a serious issue. If he can't stop doing that, he doesn't respect you, your boyfriend (also his friend) and friendship. Your choice is whether you still want to be friend with him or not.

[San123]

So you are a gay guy that wanted to get with a girl just to see what it was like? Just making sure I'm reading that correctly (I'm tired) As for him being attracted to me, he does say that I'm by far his "hottest friend" but I don't really know. I mean this isn't like a huge issue where it could end our friendship or anything, its only when he's drunk which isn't constant, so I think it would be kind of silly to end our relationship because of that. hmmm...

[swordman]

he gets drunk he always asks me to make out with him... not jokingly, he comes close to begging! lol,... I tell him that he is gay and he's like "I know but it will be fun, please?"... When I tell my b/f about it he gets really upset... but my friend is really open w/ me and I know he is DEFINITELY gay (tells me about him and his boyfriends, in detail, lol)... but does anyone know why he would do this?? It happens quite often, and I don't get it!

 

Gal, you must be very attractive;otherwise real gay guy (I hope he is) doesn't think that way towards you. In my situation, I was attracted to her and wanted to have sexperience with a girl. Your choice is whether you still want to be friend with him or not.

 

Not all correct. In my case, I was attracted to her at that time. And my guess he might be attracted to you at some point. Being gay doesn't mean he can't have sex with a girl. Honestly most of my gay friends had experience with girls at least once. To answer your question from your first message why he wants to have sex with you, my answers would be:

He may find you attractive;

He is horny when he is drunk;

He just wants to know what it feels like doing with a girl.

 

Anyway, If it isn't that big issue, why is it bothering you until you have to post the message to ask people? curiosity? I've read a lot of books mentioning sleeping with a close friend. They all say the same thing either you both end up trying to blame each other or take this secret to your grave.

I am glad to know that you probably will not end your friendship with him because he wants to have sex with you. But in my case, we might or not become very close friend these days. It is too ackward for us. We might end up with just a friend. Keep in mind, this is just my opinion.

[San123]

Yeah, I guess I just asked it out of curiosity, because I had never really heard of it before and wondered if this happened quite often or not! Thanks a lot for your insight!

[LadyD]

I am a straight female ... OK, maybe bisexual as I have had sexual relationships with several females from as young an age as 12 to as recently as a few weeks ago.

 

But anyway, I went out with a male gay friend of mine - 100% gay - and we made out ... at my request. He didn't mind, the kissing didn't bother him either way and he enjoyed a little something I did on his neck ... but the point is I still want to make out with him!

 

I wanted to stay over at his place so I could make out loads more! We're going out again today and I am trying to promise myself I won't try to snog him again tonite (but he's sooo beautiful!). Anyway, I think for me, it's simply a case of my darling friend being a safe way for me to get sexual release. I have relationship issues so as much as I want to be with someone, I feel less scared with people who pose absolutely no threat to me. Inevitably, people who I couldn't possibly get into a real relationship with - like my baby.

 

I think that may be why your friend keeps trying to make out with you when he's drunk. Not because he may be straight, but because he really cares about you and feels safe with you.

 

And I understand you have a boyfriend and so cannot really oblige him at the present time, but please ... if ever you break up with you boyfriend and the situation arises again GIVE HIM ALL THE AFFECTION HE NEEDS ... as a good friend of course! (And do bear in mind that I say this with vested interest!).