benjii Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Well I'm getting better but this one dam memory eats away at me every week and need it gone so I can finally push free. So the memory I took my ex fiance to domican of republic for a break it was litterly like a movie it was last June we went had a private villa on the beach it was amazing time. The bit which keeps propping up and making me cry everytime I think of it was late at night she sitting on my lap both had are legs in the pool drinking champagne watching the thunder storm coming in she turn to me and give me a big fat kiss and says never let me go i can litterley remember ever mintue. I can't get this memory out my head kills me every week since she left just hope she remembers it and kills her just as much as me. If anyone got any tips or is this gonna be we to I'm I'm my grave Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 An ex of 15 years ago (together for 5) and I have always had loose contact. The other day we spoke and as I thought back, I couldnt remmeber any bad memories. The good memeories will always be there, some day you will look back on them and smile, not long for what you once had. Link to comment
surfjon Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 A few weeks ago when it occurred to me that my current relationship of 5 years is pretty much done, (she did the "I'm not sure" thing), I thought of the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", and the concept of being able to select to erase ones memories of a painful loss, be it death or separation from a significant other. At first, I thought that would be great to be able to simply not have any memories of the other, to simply just not have the memories, good or bad. But as I thought more, I realized that I would not want this to happen. The initial pain and agony when one loses a loved one or lover is brutal, true......but when we learn that all things are impermanent and transient in nature, that is ALL THINGS, and we learn how to accept that loss is a common occurrence, and that pain goes along with love and loving, we are better equipped to deal with a relationships inevitable end. I just finished reading a book, I actually finished it and immediately re-read it, by Dean Delis called "The Passion Trap", I cannot recommend this book enough to all. It literally has changed my entire view of loving and the dynamics of an intimate relationship. I now know where I went so wrong....... Benjii, Those memories are hard man, the last 5 years with her were both good and bad, to help me get over her, I do think about the bad times, the times she made me feel unwanted and unappreciated, the arguments......it helps me realize it wasn't good for me, even tough I loved the girl dearly. But as I heal, I do enjoy thinking back on those lazy weekends when she'd stay over all weekend, sleeping in and the smell of coffee and her hair......slow delicious hours making love with nowhere else to be, making breakfast..... But I also realize I've been in love and relationships before, in 2007 I made it thru the breakup of a 20 year marriage, it hurt like hell, I was suicidal and in absolute despair, thats when I found ena, and started my learning and healing and I apply today the wisdom I gained here so many years ago. Whn those good memories show man, embrace them, smile....cry, do what you feel, but these memories define us and yes, we carry them to our grave, we are human afterall...... peace to all who suffer.... surf Link to comment
ABetterLifeAwaits Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Moving on is tough. I don't think I'll ever forget the good memories. I had 13 years of mostly bliss. I visited over 30 states & 17 countries, married a beautiful actress, had 2 amazing children, had countless unbelievable vacations and an equal number of quiet sunsets and tender moments. And just before her infidelity pulled the rug out from under us, I was able to go from humble beginnings to a millionaire. Like most men, I got obliterated in the divorce, lost my job and at 48 I'm right back where I was financially when I was 25. Even if I finally move on, I will always look back on the storybook life I once had and smile. I had quite a ride. Looking forward to chapter 2. Link to comment
kz91 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 You don't forget the memories because one day you'll look back on them and smile. Link to comment
Lifehouse Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Good memories are good. The way I look at it; you've really begun to move on when you can look back on the good times in a good light, forget the bad times and think to yourself "we just weren't right for each other". You won't ever forget that memory, don't try to. Understand why it's important to you. Maybe because it's the ultimate reflection of love between two people, the connection two people shared - perhaps that's what you miss and not necessarily her. Only you can figure this out, but you won't forget it, just appreciate the good times Good luck to you my friend. Link to comment
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