How can I win her back? please!

[xxsupaxeroxx]

Okay last February I met this girl. At first I thought i had no chance with her. She was on and off with her long time bf at the time also. But a few weeks later, in march 2004, she broke up with him. She had no clue I liked her at th time, but I was very out of character and asked her to go to the movies with me. I knew I was taking a risk, but to my surprise she agreed to go with me.

 

I dont know how I did it, but the night went perfect, I worked up enough in me to do alot of things that I normally would think about too much before doing. So at the movies I kind of made it obvious i had feelings for her and made an effort to hold her hand. Better yet on the way home i even gave her a small kiss goodnight.

 

The next two weeks after that her and I spent alot of time together, basically everyday we saw one another. I could tell she liked me, and her and her friends too.

 

But, of course knowing my luck something had to go terribly wrong. And it did. Her ex bf that dumped her, came back intop the picture and she fell for it, therew was about a 1.5 month period when they weren't talking. And that's when I was building my relationship with her. To say the least she decided that she wanted to give him another chance due to the fact of their history.

 

So, by this time it was the month of April. I was pretty pissed about the whole thing and talked to her still but we didn't hang out. Through talking with her, she later admitted she still had feelings for me. Her bestfriend and I both told her that she was wasting her time with her current bf at the time.

 

A few months later, in the beginning of June, she finally broke up with him for good. Because of this we started to hang out more, and she admitted she STILL lol liked me. We continued to spend time together but nothing was really romantic or anything, pretty much just friends. I think we were both scared due to our history.

 

After we spent the whole week of the 4th of july with one another, at the carnival mosty, things started to change. There was a few times where I could barely stop myself from just ending the tension and making a move to kiss her. Keep in mind that the last time I kissed her was April. Even though it was really hard, I held my feelings in. For a while at least.

 

The following week things got even worse, i couldn't hold my feelings for her in anymore. Im still not sure if she was waiting for me to make the first move so I took it pretty slow. On July 9th, I told how my feelings were taking over me, and I told her I couldn't just continue only being friends with her. After that we got into a little fight because she said I shold have told her this earlier, and things might have been a little different.

 

All this did was make things worse and made me care about her more than I already had. And to tell the truth I did something that I would never normally not even close have the courage to do. I called her and told her I had to speak with her in person and work all the confusion out. When I showed up at her house it was just me and her there which worked out. We talked everything out for the most part, but it still didn't resolve the problems we had.

 

That same day I know it was stupid, but at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. July 10th the day before my 19th I kissed her very unexpectedly. She kissed me back but then I had to leave Next time I talked with her she told me she was confused and she liked me but she wanted more time to just be by herself. I respected her decision and backed off. Alot.

 

I didn't see her from then on. I talked with her a few times and she kind of text messaged me from time to time, but she moved a town over and so that made seeing her a little more difficult. Finally, two days ago we made plans and went to a football game and an after party. The night went well and nothing romantic happeded, I wasn't about to push my luck a second time in a row.

 

My problem is that I don't know where to start with her. How can I build a relationship back up with her. What are some good things that would get her to want to spend more time with me again? and how do I let her know I still have feelings for her without pushing her away. Any advice on my messed up situation, or about the this mini novel, please feel free. Thank you for taking the time to read this all.

[Captain150]

Wow, i'm in such a similar position. Even the same "Next time I talked with her she told me she was confused and she liked me but she wanted more time to just be by herself."

Almost identical words, except you had the courage to back off. Have you made it clear you care about her a lot? Make that clear, make it clear ONCE and then leave it. Try to reassure her. I don't know what else you can do. As much as I hate saying this, you may just have to wait. Something that is a reality for me as well. It's like you know there's hope, but you know she could end it all for good. Such a horrible feeling. But you will be alright. You are in a better position than me, at least she talks to you face to face about your problems. Respect her for that, she still talks to you and does things with you.

[arwen]

Hey supaxerox,

 

Long and complicated, as almost all stories involving love are. You are seriously fond of this girl, and have made various attempts at having a relationship with her. I am sorry for the pain that it caused for you.

 

I think the girl doesn't know what she wants. At first, it might have been that you were sort of a rebound guy for her. Which happens often, but doesn't make it any easier on your part. She has feelings for you, but she is not able to act upon them. That is what she communicates. And that is were my doubts would start. I think that if you are really crazy for a person, there are no limits. Even if you have serious issues, even in some cases if you just ended a relationship, if you fall for someone, this somehow falls away, at least for a while.

 

I think you can keep trying, but you have to ask yourself to what degree you would want to hurt yourself even more. Maybe you can be friends for a while, and see what happens. Relationships can also arise from strong friendships. To win her back, I think begging and asking is not the way... I would pull back for a while, leave her alone for a bit and she if she will initiate contact with you.

 

Good luck!

 

Ilse.