gf lied about hook-up with friend. won't come clean

[oilpatch87]

Been with her for past 4 months. Met her over the summer through some mutual friends 8 months ago . She had just moved to a new city and started a new job with only knowing one person there. Call him Jonny. She and jonny joined a running club and hung out periodically. This is understandable seeing that they were both friends and new and alone in a big city. I am friends with jonny and met her through him. Thought they were just friends and she "slept over" at my house one night at the tail end of the summer, I was only there for a summer internship.. A couple days after that jonny tells me he had sex with her the night before I did. This troubled me and I thought our relationship (with my present gf ie her) wouldn't go anywhere. A couple months passed, I went back to school but we kept talking though and I eventually let it go and fell in love with her. Suddenly it came back and plagued the back of my mind. I asked her about it and she got really defensive, calling him a liar and that she did sleep over but just fell asleep in his bed (with him in it) because he had no furniture and she was too drunk to drive. I am very confused because I have two other friends that can attest to the fact or give strong supporting evidence that she did indeed hook up with him. Now here comes the problem...this guy and I are going to be roommates with another guy when I move back to town. I think she thought I would break the living arrangement off, but now I told her I've reconsidered and that I'm going to talk to him about the whole ordeal and get him to apologise about lying. She now all of a sudden doesn't care and doesn't want me to talk to him about it. He has never lied to me and is a classy guy who had no reason to lie in the first place. Through other friends i have heard that she has had a questionable past and that she lied alot in previous relationships. She opened up to me about this, stating that she was in a bad place in her mind and battled depression, I believe her 100%. She on the other hand has reason to lie in this case, and that is not to look like a floosy. I want to trust her but until I hear the truth I won't be able to. I wouldn't have cared if she drunkenly hooked up with him, it happens, we weren't a thing when it happened so I could care less. But now we are and I'm about to live with this guy. I get the feeling she won't tell me the truth and that's what I REALLY care about, is trust. I feel that I won't be able to trust a word she says until I get the truth. I also feel that she is in a way pinning be against my friend. In all fairness to her, we have a wonderful loving relationship, the kind that I've been searching for. I'm trying to give her a chance but I just think she is either too stubborn or embarrassed to tell the truth. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[agent1607307371]

He has never lied to me and is a classy guy

If Johnny was such a classy guy, he would not have let you know that you were getting his seconds.

 

And her sexual relationships that weren't with you aren't your business.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She had casual sex with you just before you were leaving...you have to expect that if she would drop her pants and spend the night with you in a no strings attached way, chances are she has done it before...and possibly the night before with someone else. I wouldn't blame the guy...he was your friend before this woman came into the picture and he gave you the heads up as to the fact that this woman was in his bed the night before. Is she obligated to tell you that she slept with someone the night before she slept with you.....no....when you choose casual sex it comes with the understanding that there could have been other recent casual sex romps. However, since it was actually your friend she slept with the day before, and now she has become your gf, courtesy would have it that she owns up to it and not lie about it.

[pl3asehelp]

Not girlfriend material. Will lead to nothing but frustration and then just end. Lying, casual sex, depression which I'm just assuming she doesn't treat seriously - correct me if I'm wrong and she regularly sees a therapist and is on meds.