Need Advice Please!! Want To Ask My Ex GF From 9 Years Ago Out On A Date..

[Anabolicman197]

Hello everyone! I sighted up here because I wanted some good advise so I have the best chance of getting my ex girlfriend to agree to let me take her out on a date. We broke up in early 2004 and had been together for 7 months( we were engaged ). At the time we were both young I was 23 and she was 22, we lived together the whole time we were together and both of us made mistakes during our relationship but nothing that I can't over look and get past. The last time we were together actually was on valentines day 2004 .. We went out to dinner and had a romantic night after. The problem is that I had moved out months before then and was angry at her about something she had lied to me about previously. So after valentines day I decided I was going to avoid her called and not respond to her anymore. I was listening to friends and every part of me wanted to answer her call and emails because I did still love her. Eventually she stopped calling and we both moved on, she got married in 2008 and then divorced a couple years later and I got married last year and am now separated because I wasn't I love with my wife and both of us just didn't get along anymore. I have always thought about my this ex and couldn't find anyway to find a way to contact her and had no idea where she was of if she was with anyone, married, had kids ect... Until a few days ago I happened to search her name on Facebook as I had a few time before over the years and this time she popped up! I friend requested her and she accepted the next day, she looked beautiful and after looking at her profile saw she was divorced, didn't have any children, wasn't in a relationship and still live in the general area. After a couple days I messenger her just saying hi and making small talk.. She was nice and when I told her I was going to become a police officer she became a little flirty( nothing major) but I did hint that I thought about us at times and that interested her enough to ask me why and what not. I just told her I loved spending time with her because she is so smart and pretty. Anyways we talked a bit about stuff we remembered about when we were together that we're funny(good times) . I did sincerely apologize for anything I did that hurt her. She said thank you I appreciate that! This morning I we were talking some more and I asked her if she was dating anyone because she posted a few days before that she hated first dates on Facebook. Her response was.. ehh he is kind of an ass! So I know she is aware of what is coming.. She is a smart girl and I'm pretty sure knows I'm going to ask her out at some point but I don't know what I should say exactly? I don't want her to think I'm only interested in hooking up or even trying to jump into things too fast. I really still have feeling for her and don't want to mess this up by saying the wrong thing. I was going to just ask he if she wanted to have dinner one night? Or should I be more take charge and tell her I want to take he out one night? I'm just not sure what the best thing to do is? Any advise I would appreciate Thanks

[The Raviator]

First thing...

 

If you are going to ask her out.. Just Ask her???????? I dont see that your at a point where "taking charge" is necessary.

 

And

 

Why not make your first get together just that... a casual get together to see if you are both still interested. NO pressure.

 

Or,

 

Are you trying to make sure your first date is on Valentines Day? if so, you better get busy!

[abitbroken]

I would not ask her out right now. You are separated and not divorced. Out of respect for everyone, do not do this right now. She will think you are on the rebound or just imagining how you wanted to remember her and not how she is now as a person. Give your own self time to heal from your divorce. You also never know what will happen about feelings towards your wife.

 

If you get to know her a little bit - you may or may not find out that there was a reason why you guys broke up in the first place, etc. Right now you are only truly going on regret or the person she was before. So proceed with caution....after healing some.

[The Raviator]

Oops!

 

I totally missed the part about you only being separated.