Dinocaz Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Hey up Enoters it is exactly 1 year ago today Feb 4th that this very night I watched from another computer as my exWife sat with her eldest daughter (my step daughter at the time) and posted her profile Live with pictures onto a dating website. As I was in psycho path mental mode then and that working with Computers was a big part of my business I had the whole network wired. I watched live as her daughter of 17 at the time uploaded the exes profile picture. Watched from my box room floor when I had been "allowed" to sleep as her daughter typed her mums preferences. She made it clear the person had to be financially "stable" . Saw this all felt my blood temperature rise but for a few minutes could not believe what I was seeing. Our break up had been ongoing since November but I had not seen this coming. I was floored. I went downstairs and made some excuse to speak to them both about the network being slow. I saw my ex leaning over looking at the laptop her daughter had on her knees. I felt utter humiliation. The next half hour sealed the fate of the ending. I ripped out the router as I confronted her it was insane and toxic beyond anything I had ever gone through. This was the final push and a few days later I left dejected terrified and utterly alone. I had 3 bags of clothes mostly rags. Around £15.00 to my name and no idea how on earth I was going to get through this all. Why am I saying all this ? What is it I am trying to say to you ? One year on I have moved yet again (3 times so far in 12 months) but this time to this tiny but totally fab cottage in a village just 25 mins bus ride from my daughter. At the end of the year Dec 31 I knew I was over it all. That was my cut off date. It was either then or never. And you know what I feel totally foooookin awesome!!!! I love that American word ha ha but its only way I can describe myself. It took 1 year of blood and guts and untold fits of rage and depression but I am here. I am not wanting to give anyone false hope as I know each of your journeys and story's are painful and unique to you. But I recon you can also do it. And Im feeling fab today and I wanna share this with you all not to gloat to say "hey up look at me" but to give you hope real hope that you will come through this no matter how dark things seem. And at some point you will sit up and be surprised that the pain is not there anymore and you will take a deep breath and you will begin again. Link to comment
charity Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 that was a wonderful read, thank you! i'm so glad you are feeling fullfilled and happy. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Its fab to read dino , you have visited hell and back and back and back and finally ..its over I am so very very happy that those dark days ....have gone best wishes always x Link to comment
Limiya Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Hey up, Dinocaz - This was so refreshing to read. I can't wait to post my happy positive update here hopefully in another 6 months time. Much love, Limiya Link to comment
Dinocaz Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 Hey up, Dinocaz - This was so refreshing to read. I can't wait to post my happy positive update here hopefully in another 6 months time. Much love, Limiya H Limiya and you will thats for sure. There is not set time on how long it takes but that moment in your life will come xox Link to comment
Dinocaz Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 Its fab to read dino , you have visited hell and back and back and back and finally ..its over I am so very very happy that those dark days ....have gone best wishes always x well you know I couldnt have done it without the support of you know WHO!!! Hugs Link to comment
One day Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Such a wonderful update to read Dino, it still amazes me that the people we once loved and shared so much with can become so cruel and cold. I know the last 12 months left you battered and bruised emotionally, but each and every time you picked yourself back up and refused to let "her" win. I wish you nothing but happiness and good luck on this next chapter of you life mate. All the best Link to comment
Dinocaz Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Such a wonderful update to read Dino, it still amazes me that the people we once loved and shared so much with can become so cruel and cold. I know the last 12 months left you battered and bruised emotionally, but each and every time you picked yourself back up and refused to let "her" win. I wish you nothing but happiness and good luck on this next chapter of you life mate. All the best Hey OneDay how are you doing ? I have not spent much time here been busy moving from house to the next lol. I really hope for you my friend these next few months bring you full closure. I did just read one of your entries on the "Post here instead of contacting your Ex ..." it will all surly pass for you as it has so many others. I always remember something you said last year ... a moment in time where you were sat on your stairs early morning watching the rest of your city before it wakes up ... its was poignant how you wrote it ... dunno but really felt what you were going through and for some reason that image of your sat in your favorite spot in the early hours has always stuck with me . You wrote that last summer ... things moves on and so do we ... ha all still here alive and at times kicking. Wishing you also good luck although I'm feeling here you wont need it with this next chapter of YOUR life!!! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.