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What should I do about loved girlfriend?

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ok, I'll start from the beginning.

Just over two years ago I met my sweetheart. It was like love at first sight. She truly made my life worth living. She was and still is absolute beautiful, perfect in everyway.


I met her at work. We work at the local book store.

She was so lovely and sweet. She seemed just SO perfect in everyway, see we had just SO many things in common, I'm into games and computers, she is also into games and computers. I love rugby, she loves rugby. We would spend count-less hours up talking and talking. It was like we were cloud nine everyday.


Anyway, A couple of months ago, I found was in her room along. her diary was sitting open on her bed (so naturally you go over and have a peak) but what I found wasn't what I was expecting.


She wishes to be Male. It talks of undergoing the operation, taking the hormones, everything...

She spoke of fair; fair of having her loved ones finding out and rejecting her, fair of me finding out, fair of loosing me.


She wises to keep these feelings from me, but I fair that one day they're just build up until she can on longer take it and actually undergo the operation.


I love my girl dearly but I just feel I can't love her as a man, I'm NOT gay and never will be.

I'm so confused with what to do. I could and never would tell her I know. She'd be really upset and ask way to many questions on how I found out


I just want things to go back to how they were.

What should I do?

I'm so confused because I don't want to loose her, yet at the same time, I can't be with a Transgender like that.




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Shaun_007 you seem to be in a tight spot here. If you truly love her and you clearly do then maybe should first look it up, find out about being a Transgender and understand how it would have such a mental impact on you Girlfriend.


I have many sites which can help you, I'll message them too you if you'd like


Shaun_007 I feel like you havent looked at it from her angle, see what it's like for her, she can't control these feelings they're just there, support her, tell her you'll love her no matter what, after all she seems really vunrable at the moment. She'll need support from a loved one.


Let me know how it's all going

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Maybe it was a dream that she was writing about? Did you read from the beginning of the entry?

Maybe you should bring up the topic of a sex change some way and see how she responds.

Or maybe she wanted you to see the diary? Just to see if you'd actually look?

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First things first. I wouldn't necesarrily jump to conclusions here. Are you absolutely sure that what you read is what she is going to do? Also, thoughts and actions are two different things. She might never undergo the operation, and only fantasize about it. Another aspect here is your feelings for her. Being in the situation that I am in, I am learning what true love is. True love is something that is not separated by gender, race, or anything. True love is something great. If you truly love her than you should be there to support her no matter what happens. I understand it may be very difficult for you if she would undergo the operation, but if that would ruin your feeling for her than maybe you should consider how much you really do love her.


Sorry I can't really give any advice on what you should do. All I am trying to do is to show you some aspects of the situation. You are the only person that can decide what to do.


I'm sorry that you had to read that diary, but it may have been for the better. Now you can consider your options and even think about the situation instead of her just throwing it all on your lap some day.


good luck, I hope everything turns out for the better. If you need to talk....feel free to PM me.



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First of all, I want to say that you probably shouldn't have been reading your girlfriend's diary! [-X [-( Secondly, it could be possible that she left it open, sitting there, on purpose so that you would read it and she wouldn't have to vocally tell you what's going on. She could be waiting for you to confront her...I don't know.


We can't tell you what to do or what to feel. But, if I were you, I would research as much as you can on being transgendered so that you can understand how your gf is feeling and what she is going through. I think until you say that you honestly understand that, then you shouldn't be saying that you can't be with someone who is transgendered. I agree with Shorty, in that, love does not know age, education, race, class, and gender. You love everything about this person and you have so much in common and it sounds like an emotional bond, so you really need to find out as much as you can before you decide anything. It may be helpful to talk to a gay/lesbian/transgdender therapist who can provide you with information and help you make a decision about what to do about your gf.


Good luck and keep us posted!

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